Hurt
by C-Rokkk
Summary: Ziva walks in on Tony doing something he shouldn't be. TIVA!
1. Early Homecoming

**Okay everyone, here's the deal. I re-wrote this, changed the ending a lot, and now plan to continue it! So re-read it, but you can start almost at the very end, that's the only part I changed. Please review and look for the next chapter!**

**SO SORRY, messed up reposting it and posted the old one again. I promise this is the new one, so read just the ending if you've read it already! **

It was near 0200 hours and Ziva David sat in her cold, lonely, and dark apartment. She pulled the throw she had over her legs further so that it covered her neck, in an attempt to warm her up.

Wiping the wet tear from her cheek, she took in a deep, shaky breath and then hugged her knees, letting her head fall onto her knees, and her now flowing tears soak her jeans.

It all started 9 months ago when Tony invited her to go to a baseball game with him. His buddy had cancelled on him at the last minute and he couldn't find a replacement in that short of a time. So, after a lot of begging and agreeing to do her paper work for the next two cases, Tony got to her to agree and they headed to the game that Friday. She hated to admit it, and even though Tony spent most of the game explaining it to her, she had a good time. He gave her a slow, deep kiss when he dropped her off that night, and the next weeks consisted of dates that made Ziva fall so hard for him, just as he did for her.

Now, even Gibbs knew about them, and was actually okay with it because he "knew it would happen eventually". Ziva was ready to settle down, and thoughts of marriage even crossed her mind.

What happened to ruin her bliss was almost a blur. She had just gotten home from another assignment in Paris, only this time she was assigned with McGee. There was a pair of guys, one in the states and one in France, that they were assigned to find because of a killing of a petty officer.

Gibbs and Tony finally found their guy, but it resulted in a shoot-out, and Robert Williams, their suspect, had shot two kids and the person they were trying to protect from him. The kids, one of them only 4 years old, were brother and sister orphans. The bastard killed one of them and put the other in the hospital. After the case, Gibbs went to his basement and bourbon remedy, and Tony was forced to go to his apartment and wait another 7 hours for Ziva's plane to land.

And that sucked ass.

He had just hung up with Ziva, and from that phone call he knew she'd be home around 1 or 2 AM. He ran a hand over his face and sighed deeply. He had missed her that was for sure. He gathered his things and headed towards the elevator, but his phone buzzed to remind him that he had a missed call and a new voicemail. "Oh yeah." He said aloud. Whoever it was called him while they were in a shootout, so he couldn't answer. He made a mental note to put that in his voicemail message, 'Can't take your call right now. I'm probably in a shootout with some fucking bastard who shoots kids for fun. Leave a message and I-' he couldn't even finish the thought. He had pressed one to hear his message, and then he heard a voice he hadn't in years.

Wendy.

"Tony. Uh hey. Wow, it's been a while, huh? I know you're probably at work right now, and I'm sorry for calling at this time, but I just got the nerve to do it, so I did it, and I think talking to your voicemail helps. I'm in town this week doing a report, and I would love to see you. We have a lot of catching up to do, right? I'll be at the bar where you first kissed me until 12. Come, okay? Bye."

His finger hovered over the down button on the elevator for about a minute before he realized he wasn't moving. He slammed his phone shut. God, he didn't need this today. The silver doors slid open and he stepped on, pressing the button for the garage. He knew exactly the bar she'd be at, and probably exactly where she'd be sitting, but there was no way in hell he was going.

She was the one who left him, and that was nine years ago. He was happy with Ziva, finally, and he wasn't about to fuck it up. Wendy was probably up to no good anyway.

But he needed to drink to forget about this horrible day. He had beer at home, but that wasn't going to do the trick. There was a bar that wasn't far from his apartment that he frequented, so his plan was to go there and have a couple of drinks and go home and wait on Ziva.

About an hour later, he sat at the bar. He watched the basketball game that was over the bar on the muted TV, and tried to forget about how much he needed Ziva right now and how much the day, the whole week really, sucked.

"Hey, Sean, I'm gonna need another here." Sean walked over to him.

"Rough day huh?" He asked.

"Yes. And I want another." Shots of tequila along with beer were certainly helping forget about the awful day.

The bartender gave him a look and walked away for second, returning moments later, "I'm going to need your keys. You don't have anybody with you." Tony stared at him, but when he saw that he wasn't going to give him the drink until he gave him the keys, he dug the small set out of his pocket and put them in his hand Sean sat down the drink and took his empty glass away. "You want me to call you a cab?"

Tony laughed, "No thanks. I uh...live right over there." He pointed in one direction.

Sean stood up straight and tapped the counter. "Where's Ziva tonight?"

Tony stared at a spot on the counter. "Up in the big jet plane."

Sean laughed, "Just be careful."

He took another shot and took a deep breath. He hadn't been this drunk in a while, but tonight he felt he needed it. He rubbed his face with both hands and sighed deeply. He still had at least four hours before Ziva got home. He took a sip of his beer and was about to flag down Sean again, but the voice directly behind him startled him. "I got tired of waiting on you, Tony."

He slowly turned around, but he already knew who it was. "Wendy." He slowly stood up, "What are you doing here?"

"I told you I wanted to see you."

He laughed more than he normally would if he was completely sober, "Yeah but how'd you find me?"

She smiled a huge smile and patted his shoulder, "I have my ways, Anthony." He sighed and it turned silent between them until she spoke again, "Well aren't you going to hug me?" Tony watched as she opened her arms and waited for him to move. He took a very small step towards her and hugged her as gently as he could. "Wow. That's not like the hugs you used to give me." She chuckled.

"Well we used to be engaged. It's a little different now." He pulled out his wallet and paid the bartender.

Wendy made a face, "Oh, you're not drinking anymore?"

Tony chuckled, "I've had enough."

"I'll give you a ride home then." She said.

He stared at her as he put his coat on and started towards the door. "No thanks. I don't live far."

She sighed and watched him walk for a while before catching up with him, "Tony you don't even want to talk to me?"

He laughed, "I don't have much to say. And I'm not really sober right now."

"Clearly you're not sober but you're not as drunk as you were after that party in 2001."

"The one where you left me in the yard? Yeah, I remember."

She laughed, "You were too drunk to walk! And I couldn't lift you to get you the car." Tony stuck his hands in his pockets as he continued down the sidewalk, his ex-fiancé following by his side. Wendy sighed deeply, "Tony, I really hoped you would show up. I want to talk."

He visibly rolled his eyes, "What in the hell do you want to talk about?" Turning the corner, he began the walk down his street.

"Honestly? I miss you."

He scoffed loudly. "You left me, Wendy."

"I didn't leave you because I didn't love you." She said softly, and it made him stop in the sidewalk and stare at her. "Is that what you thought?"

He stared into her brown eyes and sighed deeply, "Come on. We're not having this out right here." They were silent for the rest of the way to his apartment. He unlocked the door and walked inside, holding the door open for her. She walked in and looked around, studying the place. Tony walked into his bedroom and put his weapon and badge on his dresser before returning to the kitchen. "Do you want anything to drink?"

"No thanks." She replied, "I like your place. Are you moving?"

He had gotten himself a beer and joined her in the living room. "No, my girlfriend is moving in." He said softly.

She stood with her arms crossed, and motioned with her head towards the beer. "I thought you said you had enough."

He looked down at it and swirled the liquid inside. "I got a second wind."

"So this girlfriend of yours…things getting pretty serious?"

Tony watched her as she walked passed his couch and over to his mantle, where Ziva and Abby had decorated it with pictures of him and Ziva, and some with the rest of the team. "Yeah. I'm uh…in love with her."

She continued to look at the pictures and then when back to the one with only him and Ziva and picked it up, brushing a little dust off of it, "She's beautiful."

"Yeah, she is." Tony agreed.

"Where is she?" Wendy asked.

Tony looked up at her, "What did you expect me to think, Wendy?" He asked softly, ignoring the question.

Her eyes met his and she shrugged one shoulder, "I did love you Tony. But at the time, I didn't love the thought of marriage."

"Then why did you wait to tell me ten hours before the wedding?"

She sighed deeply, set their picture down and walked around the couch. "I thought I could ignore the fact that I wasn't ready to get married because of how much I loved you. But, the night before, I couldn't anymore. I couldn't do it."

He took another sip of his beer, "I'm not sure you know how much you hurt me, Wendy."

She grabbed his free hand and intertwined her fingers with his, "I knew when you wouldn't take any of my calls."

"I didn't want to look at you ever again." The two of them were whispering, as if someone else could hear everything they said.

"Clearly you're over that now." She replied. He stared down at her and waited for her to speak again, but she let go of his hand and walked over to his stereo on the other side of the room, turning it on and tuning into a station until she found what she wanted: soft jazz. Slowly she walked over to him and took his beer from his hand, placing it on the counter before stepping back over to him, "Will you dance with me like we used to?"

"Why?" He asked, and watched her carefully as she placed his left hand behind her, at the small of her back and grabbed his right hand, stepping closer to him.

"This was my favorite thing when we were together, Tony. I just want the memory." The next song began to play on the radio and she started to move with the music, stepping closer to him so that their bodies were against each other. She let go of his hand and wrapped her arms around him, placing her head on his shoulder. She sighed, "I miss this."

Tony shut his eyes. He was too drunk to process this, so he needed to slow down and think. He only opened them again when he felt her back up from him. She put her hands on both sides of his face, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." He said gruffly.

She smiled up at him still holding his face, "You're quieter than you used to be."

"I don't have much to say." He replied, and they stopped moving to the music. She rose herself up on her toes and placed her lips on his, holding him there for several seconds. When she let him go, he took a deep breath and continued to stare at her.

What felt like minutes later, he leaned down and kissed her again, and it slowly turned passionate, the soft jazz playing in the background. When they broke for air, she spoke in short breaths, "God you do that good." She ran her hands down his chest and held them at the top of his jeans, but then moved them back up towards the buttons of his dress shirt. She got about halfway up and stopped, touching his skin with both of her hands.

He let out a deep breath. He wanted her stop. He _needed_ her to stop. But his head was spinning and he couldn't form the words. "Wendy." He finally said, after she had pushed his shirt off of his shoulders. She only responded with another kiss. Her hands slowly slid down his chest again and stopped right below his belly button, hovering above his jeans. She began to undo the button on his jeans, but stopped to take off her jacket that was over her dress, before bunching up her dress and tossing it over her head. "Wendy, I…" She didn't let him finish, stepping up to him again, her breasts pushing against his chest, throwing her lips on top of his.

She tangled her hands in his hair, and didn't stop her mouth from taking control of his. She moaned during this kiss, and had no intentions of stopping, her hands heading south again to work on his jeans. She unbuttoned them and slowly let down his zipper, rubbing her hand at the base of his belly again. "There is a good thing about me, Tony. I have an excellent memory and I remember what you like." She traced her hands above his boxers, playing with the elastic. She chuckled and went back to his mouth, kissing him hard.

The sound of the door opening behind her made her stop in her tracks, and her lips left his quickly, turning and looking at the door. She recognized her as the woman from the pictures.

"Ziva." Tony said. Ziva stared into his eyes for several seconds before chuckling in disbelief, turning and leaving, her bag thrown over her shoulder. Tony sighed and buttoned and zipped his jeans, grabbing his shirt off of the floor and throwing it over his shoulder, following her out the door and down the sidewalk, "Ziva, wait." He gently grabbed her arm and she turned around, staring directly into his eyes. His heart panged when he saw the tear on her cheek.

"What do you want, DiNozzo? Are you mad because I got home early and caught you?" She put two hands on his chest and pushed him hard. "Get the hell away from me." She said sternly, and continued walking towards her mini.

Tony ran to her again, "Ziva wait!" He walked around her car and to the driver's side door, catching it before it closed. "Stop, please." He said calmly.

"Let go." She said through her teeth, looking up at him with eyes that he was sure wanted to kill him.

"Ziva, I want to talk." He said to her, holding onto her door for dear life.

"Let go of the door or I will shoot you." She said again, and he sighed, letting go of her door. She slammed it shut and sped off. Tony stood in the street, his shirt hanging open off of his shoulders.

He watched her car until he couldn't see it anymore. He walked towards his apartment, his heart shattered into a million pieces. Taking a deep breath, he walked back inside and found Wendy dressed again, turning off the stereo.

She walked over to him as he buttoned up his shirt, watching her carefully, "I'm sorry, Tony." She said softly. "I don't know what came over me, but I want you to know that I didn't come here to turn you into a cheater. I just wanted to clear some things up." She walked even closer to him and he continued to watch her, "Go fix it with her. I can tell you really love her."

He narrowed his eyes, "I don't know if I can." He said honestly.

"Try." She smiled and stood up on her toes again, placing a soft kiss on his cheek, "Take it from me, Tony. You're a lot to lose. Bye." She said, and with that, she left his apartment and headed down the sidewalk.

Tony finished buttoning his shirt and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket, dialing the cab business' number he always used.

He had tried too long to let her get away.

And she wasn't about to today.

Ziva made herself get off of the couch and walk over to the almost empty refrigerator, pulling out a bottle of water. She felt dry-mouthed, and she felt her stomach growl. She hadn't eaten all day, but the thought of food made her nauseous.

The knock on her door made her jump, only slightly. She knew who it was, the only person that would be at her door at this hour. Another knock was heard, and she knew he would keep on until she answered. Walking over to the small, square mirror in her living room, she cleaned her face as much as she could.

Slowly, she walked to the door and turned the knob, opening the door just enough so that she could see him. She forgot about how upset she was and went with angry when she spoke to him, "What do you want?"

"I want to talk, please."

She shook her head, "There is nothing to talk about." She tried to shut the door, but his foot in front of it stopped it.

"Please, Zi. Please let me talk." She stared into his green eyes and saw total and complete hurt in them, the same kind that her heart felt. She took a step backwards and opened the door a little further so that he could walk in. He walked over and sat down on one end of the couch, and she followed, sitting down on the other. He ran a hand over his face and took a deep breath before he spoke, "One of Gibbs' lessons were never to apologize." He turned his head and looked over at her, "And I don't think it would do any good to do so now, but you need to know that I am completely sorry and I hate myself for what happened."

She looked over at him and turned on her hate face again, "Is that all?"

He sighed, "She called me today." Ziva rolled her eyes and waited on him to continue, "She called me, and I missed the call. When I checked my voicemail, she told me to meet her at a certain bar. I went to a bar, but not the one she wanted to meet me at. But she found me."

"And you took her to your apartment and proceeded to take her clothes off and have sex with her, yes?"

"No, Ziva." He said. He looked at her again and watched as she raised her hand and wiped a tear off of her cheek, "I haven' spoken to her in nine years. I haven't seen her in nine years. She said she wanted to talk, clear some things up. But I didn't. All I wanted to do when I left the office is have some drinks so that I could forget about this day and wait on you to get home. There wasn't a second I didn't think about you for the week you were gone." She didn't look at him; she stared at a spot on the wall. "I was drunk, I let her kiss me and take off my shirt, and she took off her dress. I needed closure with her. I needed to know why she left me basically at the altar. I wanted her to stop. The day sucked and I needed you. And you weren't here."

Ziva stood from the couch and walked around to the other side, "Are you blaming me for cheating?"

"No Ziva I-"

"I cannot even look at you. I knew this would happen before we started dating. But I told myself that you had changed, that you would never do that to me." Tony stood and walked to where she stood, "But obviously I was wrong. I was just another woman you play with...like a game. You used me for sex, and it is sad because I let you."

Tony took three steps towards her, "No Ziva. That is completely not true."

"You did the same thing to me as-"

"I am in love with you!" He shouted. He took a deep breath and stepped towards her again. "You are not a game to me, and I have never used you for sex. I have never felt like this about anybody. Not Wendy, not Jeanne. You are all I think about."

"How am I supposed to believe you when the first thing you do when I leave is find someone else?" She looked into his eyes and anger took over her body again, "It was a game to you. And I do not want to play anymore. Or ever again." She stepped away from him again and pointed to the door, "Leave. I'll send McGee and Gibbs to get my things."

Tony sighed, "Ziva, it was never like that. I'm in love with you."

She rolled her eyes and pointed at her door. "Go, Tony."

Tony shook his head, "Not until you say we're okay." He took three steps towards her, "I can't leave until you tell me that you forgive me."

Ziva raised her hand to her cheek and quickly wiped a tear away. She looked him right into his green eyes and spoke softly, "If I had not walked in the door when I did, would you have had sex with her?"

Tony stared back at her as long as he could stand it, then turned away. "Ziva I..."

She shook her head and laughed in disbelief again. "That is why I will not forgive you, Tony. Now now, not ever. Get out of my house."

He took a deep breath reached in his pocket, pulling out a small, square, navy blue velvet box. He walked to her again, standing directly in front of her. When she looked down at his hands, she felt her mouth fall open. He opened it slowly, holding it up so that she could see it, "I was going to ask you to marry me, Ziva. I wanted us to have 10 kids and sit on the porch with you watching them play in the back yard. I wanted us to grow old together." He sighed and pulled the silver ring out of the box, holding it between his fingers, "It was never a game, Zi. I don't want anybody else, ever. I made a mistake, and for that, I am sorry." He took a step towards her again, but she moved backwards. "Please, Ziva."

She shook her head, "Leave Tony."

"Ziva, please."

"Get out." She said through her teeth.

Tony sighed and rubbed his face with both hands. He pulled the box back out of his pocket and put it back inside. He walked towards her door, placing the open box with the ring inside on the table that sat next to her door. He stuck his hands in his pockets, "Think about it, Ziva." She stood in the middle of her living room with her arms crossed, staring at the wall behind him. "Please think about it." He said softly. He turned and opened the door, not able to even look at her again.

Ziva finally tore her stare off of the wall and walked over to the table, looking down at the ring. After several minutes of staring and a million thoughts running through her head, she used one finger and closed the small box.

It was over.


	2. No

**Okay. It's official. I suck. Sorry about that. :(**

**This one is kind of a filler-type chapter, much better ones coming soon (or one can hope, haha.) Review! **

The sound of her alarm is what woke Ziva the next morning. She rubbed her tired face, she didn't fall asleep until about 0400h, and her alarm went off about an hour later. She stretched a little before standing and walking over to her dresser to change for a run. Letting out a sigh, she grabbed her least favorite running pants, because all her good ones were at Tony's apartment. She changed quickly, and purposely turned her head so she wouldn't see the ring Tony left on her table.

She could've ran longer, and maybe even done some sprints, but she had to be at work in less than an hour, especially if she was going to get there before him.

Showering and changing quickly, she headed towards her door only an hour later. Her gun and badge on her hip, she grabbed her keys, purse and the small velvet box before walking out the door for the final time.

She got her wish when she rounded the corner to the squad room and realized she was the only one there. After putting down her backpack, purse, and storing her gun, she walked over to the desk across from hers, placing the small box inside the drawer to the right.

The boss strolled into the squad room just as she closed it. He stopped in front of Tony's desk and Stared at Ziva while he took a sip of his coffee. "Good morning."

Ziva looked down from his icy blue eyes for a second and then met his gaze again. "Shalom."

"How are you?" She knew he only asked because she looked exhausted.

She swallowed the lump in her throat,"I am fine, yourself?"

He didn't answer; he only stared at her as he walked to his own desk. Ziva silently returned to her desk and began the pile of paperwork that she needed to get done.

Gibbs had disappeared to the director's office, leaving Ziva and McGee alone in the squad room. The only sounds heard were the shuffling of papers and the soft mumblings of other agents on the phone throughout the office.

The time read 0737h when the elevator dinged again. Ziva purposely didn't look up; she already knew what person would only walk in 37 minutes late for work.

McGee looked up at the agent as he walked in the squad room, "Good morning, Tony."

Tony put on a half, fake smile, "It is morning, but it's not good, Probie."

Tim didn't reply, just nodded slightly and returned to his work. It was painfully obvious that he and Ziva were going through something, and anyone who looked at either of them could tell.

Tony shot Ziva a glance before detaching his gun from his side and opening the drawer where it sat until the boss called for the gear grabbing. He sat it down and tried to close the drawer, but the small box underneath his gun stopped it.

He swallowed the lump in his throat and looked up at Ziva again. When she still didn't look at him, he looked over at McGee's desk to find the Probie with his head down, working on paperwork just as Ziva was. '

Pulling the box out and opening it slowly, he felt his heart sink. Somewhere in his brain, he wanted to believe that she had the ring on her finger and put the box in the drawer. He looked up at her again, just to see if she was looking back yet.

She wasn't.

He closed the drawer, probably louder than he should've, and was about to get up and walk over to her when the boss flew through the squad room, mumbling at everyone to grab their gear.

Ziva was the first to get up and get her stuff, and with her ninja-like moves, the second in the elevator behind Gibbs.

She was purposely staring at him with her angry face as he boarded the elevator behind McGee. She saw the tiredness in his eyes, just as they were in hers, but anger filled her again and she suddenly couldn't care less how tired he was.

At the crime scene, Gibbs ordered Tony to sketch, McGee to bag and tag and Ziva to take pictures, while they not-so-patiently waited for Jimmy and Ducky to get to the scene.

McGee had wandered pretty far from the body, while Ziva moved around it to take pictures. Gibbs was up the hill on the phone with Jimmy or Ducky, he guessed, probably yelling directions at them.

He looked up and watched Ziva for several seconds before getting up the nerve to speak to her. "Ziva, I really, really need to talk to you."

"You are talking now." She snapped back at him, crouching low to take pictures at another angle.

He sighed and scribbled on the paper some more, "I need to talk to you after work tonight." He waited for what felt like minuets with no answer, so he spoke again, "Please, Ziva. Meet me for drinks?"

She stopped working and looked him dead in his green eyes, "No."

"No what, Ziva?" Gibbs asked, and the three of them exchanged looks. When neither of them answered, he crossed his arms and looked between them again, "Ducky will be here in five minuets. DiNozzo, finish bag and tagging, and you and Ziva take the truck back to base. I'm taking McGee. We've got a suspect."

"How do we have a suspect already?" Tony asked.

"Witness knows somebody who had a grudge. He's a computer software engineer."

Tony watched as the two agents walked to the car, and then turned back to Ziva. "Seriously, Zi. Meet me tonight."

"What makes you think that I have not been serious this whole time, DiNozzo?"

"Because I know somewhere deep down inside of you wants to forgive me, or at least think about forgiving me."

She looked up for a second, pretending to think about it, "Nope."

"Zi-"

"Stop, DiNozzo. I will not meet you for drinks, I will not come by your house, and I will not discuss this at work. So stop. It is over, and that is the way it will stay."

"So sorry Anthony and Ziva. We are buying one of those GSP's tomorrow for Jimmy."

"Doctor, I think you mean GPS, and we do not need one. I took a left instead of a right on Grey road." Jimmy quickly grabbed the bags from the truck and followed Ducky down the hill.

Tony and Ziva were still staring at each other when the doctor got down to the body, and when he got there, Ziva walked away from the body back to the cars. "No problem, Ducky. We're done here; we'll just wait on you and Jimmy to finish." Tony put on a fake smile and walked up the hill to the road.

He joined Ziva at the back of the MCRT truck. She rolled her eyes and started to walk away from him when he gently grabbed her arm, "Hey." She stared at him and waited on him to continue, "Just so you know, I'm never going to stop. I will always try and get you to love me again."

She yanked her arm from his grasp and walked around to the other side of the truck, as far as she could to get away from him.

If there was anything she could do to get away from having to look at him every day without diminishing her trust with Gibbs, then it needed to happen.

How much more of it could she take? She didn't know.


	3. Seattle

**I'm not much for writing cases, but I did with this story and I hope that it makes sense. This is also a fill-like chapter, the good stuff still to come, so stay tuned!**

**Review! **

* * *

><p>About two hours later, Tony, Ziva, and McGee stood in the observation room, watching the suspect wait on Gibbs to get there and interrogate him.<p>

McGee moved his arms from across his chest to behind his back. He cleared his throat and looked to his left at the senior field agent, and then to his right at the former Mossad Officer.

He moved his arms again and shifted on his feet. Nothing could be heard in the small room, and Tim was feeling very uncomfortable between the two agents. He let out a sigh and Tony suddenly turned to him.

"Got ants in your pants McGee?" McGee turned and looked at Tony, his eyebrow raised, "You're moving more than the suspect. Are you the one that's gonna be interrogated?" Tony stared at him for a few more seconds before looking at the window again.

McGee looked over at Ziva, "So, are you two...okay?"

All he heard in response was unison "fine".

Tim swallowed and spoke again, "Then you are still a couple, right?" This time his response was a sharp elbow in his right side. He winced and looked at Tony, before quickly turning away from the green eyes that looked like they wanted to kill him. "Never mind." He said just as Gibbs entered the interrogation room.

The silver haired man sat down in front of Jerome Davis and lay out a picture of the dead man at the crime scene. Jerome met the icy blue eyes staring at him and shrugged his shoulders. "Why are you showing me this?"

"You don't know?"

He sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. "Nope, all I know is that you and that other dude busted in while I was at work and dragged me out in front of everybody."

"Mm. Do you know him?" Jerome only looked at Gibbs in reply. Gibbs put on a half-smile and pulled another picture from the manila folder in front of him. "Do you have a bookface, Jer?"

Behind the glass, Tony winced. "Facebook, boss. Facebook."

Jerome scrunched his eyebrows together, "Yeah, so?"

Gibbs placed the picture in front of him, one of Jerome and the victim, Kevin Starr. They each held a beer bottle in their hand, raised in the air, Jerome's arm thrown around Kevin's shoulder. "I know you do, Jerome, because my people got this picture from it."

Jerome sighed and covered his face with his hands. "Alright, I knew him."

"I know that." Gibbs replied.

"I just...don't really know him anymore. We haven't talked in about two years. That picture was the last night I saw him."

Gibbs nodded. "Why did you lose contact?"

Jerome sighed, "The dude got into this weird shit that I wasn't with."

"Weird shit?" Gibbs repeated.

"Yeah. He joined this gang, the "Black Bullets". I told him the next day that I wouldn't have anything to do with him anymore. He hung up, and that was the last time I talked to him." Jerome took his stare off of Gibbs and then looked away, "Until last night."

Gibbs only continued to stare, waiting on him to go on. Jerome rubbed his forehead and ran a hand through his hair.

"He called me. Honestly, I was glad to hear his voice. We grew up together, been through hell together, everything. He was my best friend, Agent Gibbs."

"Why did he call you?"

"He said that he wanted to see me, but we'd have to do it when it was dark and late. When I asked him why, he said that the Bullets wouldn't allow him to see me, but he didn't care. When we met last night, he said that he wanted to leave the gang." Jerome sighed, "I was furious with him, and wanted to yell it in his face that I told him he needed to stay away from that shit."

"What kind of gang are they?" Gibbs asked.

Jerome raised and dropped a shoulder, "I don't know. He didn't say much, I think he thought somebody was watching him."

"You didn't see anybody?"

Jerome shook his head, "Nobody but Jessica. I assume that's how you got my name?"

Gibbs stared at him, "You saw the girl who saw you kill your best friend?"

"I didn't kill him." Jerome said sharply.

"Well, Jer, if I believed every person I brought in here when they said that I wouldn't be much of a federal agent."

Jerome sighed, "I dated Jessica for about 3 months, and when I broke up with her, she started following me. She won't leave me alone. That's why she saw me with Kevin, and that's why she told you that I killed him."

"Your story matches the time of death. You already told me you were with the victim, and that you were...what's the word you used? Furious?"

"Hell yeah, I was mad. But I didn't kill him, Agent Gibbs. He was like a brother to me." He looked away from Gibbs' icy eyes again and looked down at the table. "He called, we met, I yelled, I got over it, we ate, and I left. He said he'd call me soon. I thought things were going to be back to normal."

Gibbs sighed and put the pictures back into the folder, "Jerome, you can go. Stay in town in case we have more questions for you."

Jerome nodded and stood from the table, walking out behind Gibbs to the agent waiting to escort him out.

Another hour later, Tony looked over at McGee, who was at his desk, looking up any information on the Black Bullets.

Tony stood from his desk and walked over to the most wanted wall to the women's bathroom. He walked in slowly, his eyes meeting Ziva's as she walked out of the stall.

She rolled her eyes as he turned and locked the door, walking to check the other stalls.

"Are you in here looking for another woman to sleep with, DiNozzo?" She snapped at him.

He would never admit it out loud, but her harsh words killed him. After checking the other two stalls, he walked over to the sinks and stood silently behind her for several seconds, his hands in his pockets.

"Ziva..."

"DiNozzo I know that you always have gotten your way in the past and that is why you keep going with this nonsense with me. You obviously do not understand that I do not want anything to do with you. I do not want to talk to you; I do not want to see you. I cannot kill you because it is against the law. So until I can get out of here, stay away from me."

She didn't understand that she was killing him, and he had to break his stare away from her eyes. He took a deep breath, and spoke softly, almost a whisper. "I fucked up. I know that, and I will do anything to make it up to you. Please, please give me a second chance. I need you in my life."

Ziva crossed her arms and leaned against the counter, "You have said all of this before, DiNozzo. I will not change my mind just because you lock yourself in the restroom with me. Leave me alone."

She started to walk out, but stopped when she heard him speak again, "I can't leave you alone, Ziva. You're my partner, and no matter how much you hate me, you'll always be that, and it's my job to have your back."

She turned and looked at him, holding the restroom door open. "Find another partner, DiNozzo." She put on a half, fake smile to the woman who walked past her into the restroom, and then her expression turned icy again, "I do not trust myself to have your back anymore."

After several minutes, and the agent that walked into the restroom officially freaked out, Tony made himself leave the and slowly walked to the squad room, only to be met at the elevator with his gear and gun shoved at him, "Go home DiNozzo, pack a bag. We're going to Seattle."

Tony followed Gibbs into the elevator, and gave Ziva a look before standing in front of her. "Why are we going to Seattle?"

"It's a 6 hour flight; we'll brief you on the way." Gibbs replied. Tony sighed and looked up at the ceiling of the elevator.

He'd lost not only the woman that he loved, wanted to marry and have kids with, now he lost his partner.

With only a few words, she'd turned his whole world upside down, and he didn't think he could fix it.


	4. Airport and Airplanes

About two hours later, the Dodge Charger full of NCIS agents pulled up at the apartment complex of Anthony DiNozzo Jr. Agent Balboa opened the trunk for him as he walked up to the sedan with his suitcase and backpack. After putting them inside and walking around to the right side of the backseat, Ziva slid to the middle; now she was in between Tim and Tony.

"Appreciate the car side service, Ricky." Tony said, glancing at the woman beside him and then looking forwards. Balboa looked at Tony and gave him a double gun point with his fingers. "So why are we going to the other Washington boss?"

"We've got confirmation from the Northwest Field Office that the Black Bullets are there. We're going to find our killer."

"And you're sure that it's one of them?" Tony asked. Gibbs icy blue eyes looked at Tony in the side view mirror. Tony could practically _feel_ the head slap that would come to him as soon as they got out of the car. "Sorry boss." Tony leaned back in his seat and stared out the window for the twenty minute ride from his apartment to the airport.

He didn't dare look at Ziva beside him, her words in the bathroom early stung in the back of his mind. She didn't have his back anymore, and that scared the hell out of him. Somewhere, very deep in the back of his brain, he knew that the probie would always be at his and Ziva's side, and so would the boss. But the fact that his partner, the one he had always counted on in the past, said that she wouldn't anymore, burned him from the inside out, and he couldn't stop it from consuming his thoughts.

Ziva jumped slightly when she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She took the quickest glance over at Tony to make sure it wasn't him texting her before pulling it out of her pocket. He sat looking out of the window with his hands folded over his chest, so she slowly pulled it out and flipped it open. It wasn't from the man to her right, but from the one on the left instead. She gave him a puzzled look and opened it.

_I don't know what's going on, but I wanted you to know that I'm here if you need to talk._

Ziva smiled at him and quickly typed a reply.

_Thank you, Tim, but that is not necessary. I am fine. _

Tim nodded at her after the message got to his phone. He wanted to be there for his friends, but neither one of them wanted to talk about it. He called Tony on the packing break before Agent Balboa got out his apartment, but Tony insisted that things were okay and he didn't need to talk.

They both were clearly hiding the truth, but Tim decided that it was best not to push it, and that maybe they'll want to talk about it later. He didn't like seeing his two partners unhappy, whatever the reason.

He was just about to send Abby a text and ask her if she knew what was going on, but Balboa drove like Gibbs (or Ziva, McGee couldn't decide), and they were already at the airport. Once parked, the trunk opened again and the four agents collected their gear.

After Gibbs briefed Balboa and told him to keep an eye on Jerome, he joined the others as they headed towards security, tickets in hand. Security was crowded and forced them to stand in line. Tony rolled his eyes, "I thought being LEO's gave us the right to skip security."

"Gotta get to the podium first, Tony." McGee said plainly.

"Well, McKnowitall, I think they should have a separate line. It would make my life easier."

Ziva turned around from her position next to Gibbs and stared at the senior agent, "Not everything is about you, DiNozzo." She said coldly, and with another long stare, turned back to the front.

Tony opened his mouth to fire back at her, because if she was going to act this way, so was he. Gibbs stare, however, dared him to go there, so he clamped his mouth shut.

The never ending line finally moved forwards and they each showed their badge and ID, and the security officer allowed the four to walk through without stopping at the scanner. As they walked away, Tony heard a guy that was behind them complaining about them, "You didn't properly check their ID's."

Tony stopped in the busy airport and watched the conversation. The security officer stopped examining his ID and looked up at him, "Yes I did, sir."

"No you didn't, and now they'll probably shoot us. Some people shouldn't even be allowed on the plane!"

Tony shook his head and walked to their terminal, finding the other three agents sitting on one of the rows of chairs. "We really need our own jet boss." He sat down next to McGee, and noted that Ziva made sure she was in the middle of Gibbs and the probie so she wouldn't have to sit next to him. "People don't like us."

Ziva stopped filing her nails with her knife and looked over at Tony, "Are you sure that it is us they do not like instead of only you?"

Gibbs leaned forward and told Tony not to go there again with his eyes, and then looked over at Ziva, "Enough, David." Tony gave Ziva a stare down for several minutes before shaking his head and standing from his seat.

"McGoo, hold these. I'm going to the head."

"What is going on with you two?" McGee asked.

"Nothing McGee." Ziva replied, and watched as her ex-boyfriend fought his way through the crowd to the restroom.

"Oh, whatever it is, you'd better fix it, David." Gibbs warned, and then returned to his magazine.

Ziva rolled her eyes and sat up straight. She looked down in McGee's hands and saw the ticket that was assigned to Tony by the woman behind the counter earlier. She looked down and slightly panicked when she saw that she and Tony would be sitting next to each other. She sighed deeply and grabbed Tim's arm to get his attention. "McGee, where are you sitting?"

McGee looked down at his ticket, "Uh, 14c, why?"

"Switch with me, please."

Tim scrunched his eyebrows together in confusion, "Why?"

"Tim, please." McGee sighed and handed Ziva his ticket for his new seat, 8b.

"I like the window seat." He mumbled, but stopped when he saw Tony approach the group.

He was about to ask Tony if they could switch seats so that he could have the window, when the intercom above them spoke instead, "Hello and welcome to Delta airlines. Our flight number is 128 non-stop to Seattle, Washington. The flight time is set to 5 hours and 37 minutes. We will begin by boarding Zone A, so if you hold that ticket you may board at this time. Welcome aboard."

The four agents gathered their gear and got on the plane, Tony surprised to find himself sitting next to McGee after they got settled. "I thought you were further back, McGoo."

"Change of plans." McGee said softly.

Tony sat down with a heavy sigh, leaning his head back on the seat and closing his eyes, "Fine."

McGee pressed his lips together, "Tony you consider us friends, right?"

Tony only bothered opening his right eye to look at him, "We're co-workers."

"Yeah, but, we're friends, right?"

Tony finally picked his head up and looked at him, "Why are you asking?"

"I feel like if I had something I needed to talk about, that I could talk about it with you. You're a friend, and that's what friends do. They talk about things."

"The point, Tim?" Tony said quietly.

McGee shook his head and decided that he should give up, "Nothing." He put on a half-smile at the woman who had seat 8a as she sat down next to him.

Tony sighed and spoke softly, "Look, I know you're trying to help. But there's really nothing that can be done. Things are…" he stopped. He didn't really know how to classify things, "I can't talk about it."

McGee nodded, "Okay."

Tony patted McGee's shoulder and sat back in his seat again.

Six rows back, Ziva was settled into her window seat, staring out of the small square at the people walking around on the ground below her. She looked up when she heard Gibbs speak to the woman who sat next to him. Gibbs glanced over at her and opened his magazine, "Gonna catch up on sleep, David?"

Ziva lifted her head to look at her boss, "Yes, I will try."

"Plane ride is the best time to do it, nothing to do but wait." Gibbs said plainly. "Or catch up on the case, or read a magazine, or to talk."

Ziva smirked, "You want to talk, Gibbs?"

He shook his head and pointed to her, "No, I want you to talk."

She shook her head at him, 'There is nothing to talk about."

He chuckled sarcastically, "I find that funny, David. Because a week ago, I haven't seen you happier in a long time, and now, you won't even look at your partner."

Ziva looked down at her lap and shook her head again, "I cannot be called his partner anymore."

"Ziva…"

"I know what you are thinking Gibbs, and I also know that the last time I said that I ended up hostage in Saleem's camp. But I do not trust myself to…have his back anymore." She looked forwards 6 rows ahead of her to the back of his head "He clearly does not have mine." She was silent for about two minutes as the plane was backed from its parking space. "He let me down Gibbs. I have trusted the wrong men all of my life, and the one time I thought I had found someone I could completely trust..." Gibbs kept silent, only small nods to let her know he understood. "How am I supposed to trust him in the field if I cannot trust him anywhere else?"

Gibbs was silent while the plane sped down the runway and took off into the sky. "Ziver, that is exactly why there is a rule twelve." Ziva opened her mouth to speak, but Gibbs did before she could, "but I've seen the way he looks at you, and I know that he will always have your six." Ziva looked away from him and stared at the blue seat in front of her.

She swallowed the lump in her throat and had to force the next words out of her mouth, "He kissed another woman." They tasted awful as she spoke them, and the sudden urge to use the provided bag in the seat pocket made her lean forward. "And if I had not walked in when I did, he would have slept with her." Still avoiding eye contact with him, she looked down at her lap. "And it was not just any woman, Gibbs; it was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with a few years ago." She sighed and sat back again, "And after everything that happened that night, he went out and bought a ring, hoping that it would make me fall into his arms all over again and forget what he did. I do not like being played."

The boss shook his head, "I don't believe that he was playing you at all."

Ziva shook her head quickly, "You were not there, Gibbs."

Gibbs turned forwards in his seat, "He came to me about a week and a half ago." He now had Ziva's full attention, "said that he considered me to be more of a father to you than your own, and then he asked my permission to marry you." Gibbs continued to interrupt her thoughts, "invited me, Abs, Ducky, McGee, Palmer, and several of your friends to a dinner this weekend. He was going to ask you then.

Ziva turned and looked out the window again. Gibbs just turned her complete thought process around again. From what Gibbs had just said...it wasn't that at all. He had planned the whole thing, even with Gibbs.

"Like I said before, Ziva, Tony will always be on your side, whether you want him to or not."

Ziva turned away from him again, staring out the window as the plane got higher and higher into the clouds. Her eyes drifted shut and she kept them that way, trying her best to turn her mind off.

"_I told you it would be fun." Tony said as they walked up the stairs to her apartment's lobby. _

"_Yes, well, I now know more about baseball than I thought I ever would." The pair walked onto the elevator and Ziva pressed her floor's button, "So if you must take something from tonight, you may take that." _

_Tony smiled at her and leaned against the wall, "Admit it, David. You like baseball. The smell of fresh cut grass, the site of people cheering, the sound of music playing when a player comes up to bat. I mean, what's not to like? And we almost caught a foul ball." _

"_That ball was nowhere near us." Ziva chuckled, "It went way over the wall. We were sitting behind the first bag." _

"_Base. And I'm not talking about the homerun that Braves guy hit, I'm talking about the foul ball. When it didn't count, remember?" She walked ahead of him down the hallway. _

"_Fool ball?"_

"_Foul. F-O-U-L." _

"_Well if it does not count, why does it matter what I call it?"_

"_Because next time you go, maybe you'll remember and I won't have to explain it to you again." _

_She finished unlocking her door and pushed it open, but turned back to him and looked up, "Next time?"_

_Tony smiled, "Yeah. I bought a few games. They don't lose all of them." _

"_Most people did not like it when that other guy hit the ball over the back wall." _

"_Yeah, there's not a whole lot of happy thoughts when the hitter for the opposite team hits a grand slam. That doesn't happen every game, you'll see next time." He smiled at her as she looked over her shoulder. _

"_You keep saying next time, but what about your friend?"  
>He laughed, "Well he uh, canceled on me once, he'll probably do it again." Ziva looked down at the floor, "I'd like to take you again." She met his eyes again, a smile stretched across her face, "You know, if you want." <em>

_Ziva chuckled, "I do enjoy watching the men play in those nicely fitting uniforms." _

_Tony put his hands over his heart in a dramatic manner, "That hurts, Zi." _

_She laughed again, "Would you like to come in? I still have that beer you brought last movie night." _

_Yes, he really, really, really wanted to go in. He wasn't ready for the night to end, "No thanks. We're on call this weekend and Gibbs is likely to call at 5 AM." _

_Ziva nodded in agreement. She stood on her toes and placed a kiss on his cheek, "Thank you, for a lovely evening, Tony." _

_He grabbed both of her hands and held them between himself and her, "You're welcome. I'm glad you had fun." _

"_Oh, here is your hat back." She took it off and her hair that was neatly tucked under the hat fell around her face. _

_He smiled at her and unconsciously tucked a piece of hair that had fallen behind her ear, "No, you keep it." He put it back on her head, placing his left hand in the small of her back and his right behind her neck. He moved to tap the bill of her hat and moved closer to her. "You make that look good." _

_She smiled up at him again and let him pull her closer, "Even though they lost?" _

_He shrugged a shoulder, "You win some, and you lose some." She wrapped her arms casually around his neck and locked her fingers there. _

"_You would rather win, yes?" _

"_Most definitely." He closed what was left of the gap between them, placing his lips on hers for just a fraction of a second. When he was sure she wasn't going to respond with violence, he pulled her even closer and the kiss quickly heated up. He wrapped his arms around her tightly and held her there, the kiss more passionate than any they'd shared before. _

_When they finally broke for air, Tony smiled at her, breathing hard, "Damn it David. You do that good." _

_She smiled and patted his cheek, "You are not so bad yourself." _

"_Wanna do a movie night tomorrow?" He asked softly, leaning down for another kiss. _

_When they parted again, Ziva was able to speak, "I would not miss it." She smiled and he kissed her again before stepping back from her, his hands still holding onto hers. _

"_Good, I'll be here around 7? Pick up a pizza?" She only nodded and he smiled, giving her one last final kiss, "Goodnight."_

"_Goodnight." _

_She watched him as he walked down the hall and onto the elevator. _

_Who knew a baseball game would bring her that at the end of the night?_

_She might've just become the biggest baseball fan in Washington, DC._

Ziva woke suddenly and looked around. She quickly realized that she was still on an airplane next to her boss, and that she had a single tear falling down her cheek. She wiped it quickly and looked over at Gibbs, who was already looking back at her. She blinked a couple of times and gave up the staring contest, "What?"

"You snore, David." He said, and returned to his magazine. Ziva sighed and let her head fall onto the leather.

One hour down, four to go.


	5. Ruined Bliss

Gibbs leaned reached over and gently shook Ziva to wake her when the captain came over the intercom to let them know they were beginning to descent. She sat up straight and tightened her seatbelt before turning to meet Gibbs' stare.

"Sleep well?" He asked.

Ziva rubbed her eyes with her thumb and forefinger before responding, "No."

"Dreaming about DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked, keeping his stare locked onto her. She snapped her head in his direction to look at him again. "I know what it's like to love someone and then they're not there anymore. You dream." He closed the magazine he had in his hands and leaned his head back on the seat.

Ziva copied his posistion and sighed deeply, "I would rather not talk about him anymore, Gibbs."

"The only difference between you and me is that the person you dreamed about is still alive. I couldn't get my person back."

Ziva didn't say anything as the plane landed on the runway and came to a slow speed. She stared out the window nd tried to ignore the man beside her as he spoke again, "DiNozzo made a choice, Ziva. And it was a bad one. A horrible one." She finally turned and looked at him again, "But that doesn't make him a bad person."

She rolled her eyes, "Since when do you approve of him and I having a relationship? And since when do you fight to keep it going? I swear Gibbs you have been the energizer hare this entire trip!"

Gibbs unbuckled his seat belt and leaned closer to her, "Because Ziva, I don't want to see you throw away what the two of you had. For whatever reason, the two of you work. And it's energizer bunny. Not hare." He stood and grabbed both his and Ziva's bags from the storage above and headed down the aisle. She watched him for several seconds before walking down it herself, Gibbs words echoing in her head. She knew that Tony wasn't a bad person.

He was an idiot, yes, but a bad person?

No, she knew better.

She slowly walked up the gate and into the airport, finding her party of three waiting on her. Gibbs was already on his phone getting an update from Balboa back home, Tony was walking behind him, and McGee walked beside Ziva. "So, uh, how was the flight for you?" McGee asked. He let some young kid run between them and then joined her by her side again.

Ziva looked up at him with her tired eyes, "Fine." She lied.

McGee pressed his lips together and nodded, "Good. Tony wasn't much company. He slept most of the way, but I bet Gibbs wasn't much better in the keeping you company department, huh?" He chuckled sarcastically.

Ziva managed to smile back at him. She looked at the back of Tony's head and scoffed out loud. Gibbs talked entirely too much on the trip and wouldn't shut up about him. She almost would've rather sat next to Tony.

Almost.

McGee's voice snapped her out of her train of thought, "So do you think we'll get to see the famous space needle while we're here?"

Ziva looked up at him with confusion on her face, "No, Tim, not if it is in space."

McGee couldn't help but laugh at his partner, "Ziva the space needle is what Seattle is famous for. It is the fourth highest tower in the West, and in Las Vegas..."

"Agent McGee, we're not going to have time to do anything but work on the case while we're here." Tony said, looking over his shoulder as he and Gibbs walked in front of them.

Gibbs gave Tony a look of disapproval, while Ziva's stare could kill him. McGee pressed his lips together and studied everybody's face before speaking again, "Case only. Got it."

The rest of the walk through the airport was quiet. They finally reached the entrance and Gibbs was immediately approached by a tall man, about 6'5, Tony guessed, with dark hair and blue eyes that competed with Gibbs'. Tony's insides burned to look back and see if Ziva found him attractive, but he resisted.

"Agent Gibbs?" Gibbs nodded slowly and met his hand, shaking it slowly, "Thought so. I'm Special Agent Luke Villa."

"This is Special Agent DiNozzo, Special Agent David, and Special Agent McGee." Gibbs said. Luke reached to each of them, shaking their hands before turning and walking in front of them out of the airport.

"Glad you made it. I've caught up on the case. I know where we need to go and what time we need to get there..."

McGee put his backpack and suitcase into the car and walked around to the passenger side. Tony walked up beside Ziva and put his in as well and started to walk away, but stopped when Ziva's hand was now gripping his arm. He looked up at her and his hopes that she was actually about to talk to him fell when he saw her face.

"Stop taking your anger issues out on McGee." She said harshly and through her teeth.

"I'm not angry, Ziva."

"Then act like it. It is not his fault." She said, and slammed the trunk down, walking to the backseat, sliding to the middle. Tony sighed and stood there, but his train of thought diminished when Gibbs' voice was heard, "DiNozzo, get in the damn car!"

About an hour later, Gibbs, DiNozzo, David, and McGee were all sitting around a table at Seattle's NCIS office. They were going over the plan to find and stop the Black Bullet's leader, Ike Jameson. The supposedly empty warehouse that was just outside of Seattle was where the gang met every night, did illegal things, such as drugs, buying and selling illegal weapons, and killing people, and then Jameson went home to his wife and 7 year old daughter.

The plan was to be put in motion at 9:00 PM, so that gave the team almost 5 hours to kill before. They were given a car, so the team loaded up and headed to the hotel that was ready for them, and, for once, they were each given their own room.

Another hour, and Tony couldn't take the boredom anymore. He got up from his bed and out of his room. Gibbs was surely on the phone with Abby, Ducky or Balboa, so he wasn't even an option. McGee had announced it'd been a while since he'd gotten to take a nap and it was time to seize that opportunity, so Tony had only one person he could talk to, and it was the one person that didn't want to talk to him.

But he wasn't giving up on her, or them, so he silently walked down the hall to her door and knocked.

Ziva looked up from her book at the wooden door and stared at it for several seconds before standing and walking over to it.

When Tony's eyes met Ziva's, a chill ran through his spine. They spent several seconds staring at each other until Ziva spoke, "Did Gibbs call us up early?"

Tony shook his head, "No, I was hoping we could talk."

Ziva sighed and rolled her eyes, "We have already talked, DiNozzo. More than once."

"No, that wasn't talking, that was arguing." He shrugged a shoulder, "I just want to talk."

Ziva eyed him for several more seconds, and, without saying a word, turned and walked back into her room, leaving the door open behind her.

Tony slowly and cautiously walked into the room, closing the door silently behind him. He walked over to the only chair in the room and sat down, clamping his hands together, his elbows on his knees. He took a deep breath and prepared his self to speak, "I don't think 'sorry' is working, but I'll keep saying it until it does." He looked up at her and directly into her eyes, "I'm sorry."

Ziva stared back at him and finally shook her head, "It is not working."

Tony sighed and let his head hang low, "Before I fucked everything up, if I had asked you to marry me, would you have said yes?" Ziva couldn't hold them back anymore, so a single tear ran down her cheek, but she wiped it away before he could see it.

"I do not know."

"Please, Ziva. I have to know."

She looked up at him, "There is no point." She stood up and walked back and forth, "I am not the one that did this thing to you, DiNozzo, but do you realize that every time I look at you I see that half naked woman in your arms kissing you? You clearly do not think about anybody but yourself and I..." She had to stop and take a breath, "After we have finished this case, I am turning in my resignation to Director Vance and Gibbs." Tony felt his mouth fall open as she continued, "I cannot work with you any longer. I know that I will upset everyone again, and I do not even want to think about what it will do to Abby, especially since the three of you rescued me from Africa three years ago. But we are done, DiNozzo, and I think it would be best if we are in different countries."

Once he formed the words, Tony finally spoke, "You would go back to Mossad just to get away from me?"

She looked away from his green eyes, and when she looked back, hers were brimming with tears again, "I would go anywhere to get away from you."

Tony shook his head, "No, Ziva. That bastard you call a father sent you on a mission to die. He knew you would die and he didn't care. What makes you think he won't do that shit again?"

"It is a part of the job." Ziva said, trying to remain calm and not raise her voice at him.

"Is it a part of the job to get yourself killed?" Tony walked over to her, "You can't go back there."

Ziva was almost insulted, "I can and I will, DiNozzo."

He sighed and stepped away from her, "No." He ran a hand over his face, "If you can't work with me anymore, I'll leave. I'll resign after the case, and you can stay here with everybody." She only stared at him in response, "I got offered a job about 2 months ago. It's in Georgia, it pays almost double what I'm making now, and I'd get every weekend off."

Ziva sighed, "If you had an offer like that, why did you say no in the first place?"

"I wasn't going to leave what I had in DC. I had a family. Gibbs is clearly a better father than my own, McGee has become like a brother that I don't like sometimes, Abby is my sister, Ducky is my Uncle, and you, Ziva..." He stopped and took a breath, "You were the love of my life." A tear finally fell down her face again, but this time she made no effort to wipe it off, "But, I get it. You stay, and I'll go. I've been at NCIS for almost 13 years. It's time for a change."

After a long time of silence, Ziva finally spoke, "I think that is best."

Tony nodded slowly. "Yeah, me too." He stood and walked towards her, and pointed to her face, "Stop that. You know I hate it when you cry."

And, without saying another word, he turned and left her hotel room, heading back to his own.

More tears streamed freely down Ziva's face.

She needed McGee to invent a time machine so that she could go back to her bliss, and pronto. 


	6. Ouch

**Like I've said before, I'm not much of a case writer, so I hope the stuff below makes sense. If it doesn't, let me know and I'll try and fix it. When you get to the end, please don't freak out on me. I promise I'll make it better. And leave me a review. I need those in my life. I hope you enjoy. **

**I haven't had a disclaimer: Not mine, unfortunately. **

* * *

><p>The team met in the hotel's lobby at a quarter after eight. Tony was the last to arrive, and kept his head down to avoid any eye contact, especially from Ziva. He half listened as Gibbs pointed at the printed maps in front of him; giving instructions for the op. Gibbs finished his speech and dismissed them, but stopped DiNozzo by grabbing his arm. "I don't need you if you're not going to be focused, Tony. It's too dangerous. Do I need to take you off of this case and send you home?"<p>

Tony shook his head firmly, "No, boss. I'm fine."

"If I can't count on my senior field agent…"

"I'm fine, Gibbs." Tony had to look away from the blue eyes for a second, but then met them again, "But when we get home, I need to talk to you." He swallowed the lump in his throat, "It's important."

Gibbs gave him the stare for a few seconds before walking out of the hotel and to the back of the car, where Tim and Ziva were putting in their earwigs. Soon after, all four agents and Special Agent Villa were in the two sedans heading for the warehouses.

The six abandoned warehouses were huge metal buildings, Tony guessed they used to be some sort of factory, all in a row. They were deep in the woods, and rightfully so since this is the place where several people had died. Tony winced at the thought, but shook it off as they got out of the car.

It wasn't ten minutes after they arrived before Gibbs and Ziva were inside the first one, and Tony and McGee were clearing the one on the far end, dubbed warehouse six. As soon as McGee rounded the entire thing and said clear through the wig, the two of them started towards number five.

Tony and McGee stopped at the door to number five, both agents breathing hard with sweat pouring down their faces. "Boss, W6 is clear, moving on to W5." Tony whispered.

He was just about to have McGee open the door when the whispering el jefe came back over the wig, "Wait, DiNozzo. We've got to stay on pace. Wait for my clear."

"On standby." Tony said, and then turned to the junior agent, "Why is it so damn hot?"

McGee wiped the sweat off of his forehead, "Maybe they do it to keep people out?" He whispered back.

Tony took a deep, shaky breath and wiped off his forehead again. They heard Gibbs' clear in their wigs and Tony nodded to McGee to open the door. Another 10 minutes and W2 and W5 were clear.

After clearing the final two, the agents met by the two cars with nothing from the warehouse but a new found love for air conditioners. Tony quickly unzipped his NCIS jacket and ripped it off of his shoulders, the bullet proof vest followed it. "I'm sweating in places I didn't know could sweat."

Gibbs and McGee both unzipped their jackets, and the three men panted heavily, sweat pouring off of their face and neck. All three of them looked at her, and McGee was first to voice what they all were thinking, "How are you not sweating, David?"

She shrugged a shoulder and continued looking around, her eyes squinted as she studied the area.

McGee stopped trying to figure Ziva out and shook his head, wiping his forehead free from sweat again. "They knew we were coming, boss."

"Do ya think, McGee?"

McGee let his mouth open and close a couple of times like a fish, but Ziva's voice was heard instead, "Gibbs, there is another building." She started in a light jog towards the building and Gibbs quickly followed.

Tony watched as the two of them went inside the almost completely secluded building and leaned against the car, taking long, deep breaths, letting the cool Seattle air hit his skin. He closed his eyes and blocked the conversation between Villa and McGee.

He let out another deep sigh and stood to his full form, turning to look at the building Ziva and Gibbs went into. McGee and Villa stopped talking to each other when Tony interrupted, "Must be a pretty big building. It's taking them a while." He stuck his earwig into his ear, "Gibbs, everything okay?"

Instead of hearing a reply, several gunshots were heard and the next sound was a body hitting the ground. McGee ducked behind the car as several more shots were heard. Gibbs voice was now heard in the earwig in McGee's ear, but McGee cut him off, screaming back at the boss, "Agent down! Gunshots coming from the east! Three or four shooters!"

Gibbs and Ziva took cover behind the door and began shooting towards the east. McGee crawled over to the injured agent and dragged him back to the other side of the car, putting pressure on his wounds with both hands and pressing hard.

He ducked down low when it sounded like shots got closer to him, but continued to press down on the two gunshot wounds in his senior field agent's chest. Pulling his iPhone out of his pocket, he screamed at it to dial 911. After he hung up, he snatched his jacket off and pressed it onto the bleeding areas as well.

Tony's breaths were shallow and he was grunting with pain as the shooting went on behind them. He reached up and grabbed McGee around the neck and pulled him down so that he could hear, "Tim, I need you to do something for me."

McGee shook his head, "No Tony, do it yourself. You're not dying today."

Tony grunted again as pain shot through every inch of his body, "I need you to step up and take my place." He coughed a couple of times, "Take care of Abby and Ducky. Have Gibbs' back at all times, and you promise me that you'll watch after Ziva." McGee ducked down again from the firefight behind him and looked Tony right in the eyes, "If she gets married make sure he's good to her. She doesn't deserve anything else, you got it?"

McGee shook his head again, "Tony shut up! You're not dying, do you hear me?"

Tony swallowed, "Tell Ziva…" He had to catch his breath again, something that seemed incredibly hard at the current moment, "Tell Ziva I'm sorry." He let go of Tim's neck and patted him on the cheek, "Tell her, okay?"

McGee looked down at Tony and shook his head, "Tony, damn it you stay awake!" He shook his shoulder and returned his hand to try and stop the bleeding, "Stay awake! Keep talking to me!"

Tony let out a deep breath and couldn't stop his eyes from closing.

McGee shook him as much as he could without moving his hands.

Time was running out.


	7. SGMW

**So, you'll notice, if you watch Grey's Anatomy, in the first line of this chapter I borrowed the name of their hospital, and later I'll be using some doctor's from the show. If you don't watch it, don't panic, I promise you won't be lost. I'm not turning this into a crossover, just using the names and a few of the characters. **

**Review when you get to the end? **

* * *

><p>Four agents with scrapes and bruises but no bullets sat in the waiting room of the Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital. Silence had flooded over them since the doctor informed them that he was alive, but unconscious from blood loss.<p>

Gibbs looked over at McGee who let out another deep sigh and changed his position in the small chair again. The boss put his left hand on McGee's shoulder and gave it a squeeze, "Calm down."

McGee glanced over at Gibbs and took another deep breath to try and do just that. "If I was paying attention and not talking to Villa I would've seen that guy and Tony would be alive right now."

"Tony is alive, McGee." Ziva said from her position two chairs down from him.

McGee let out another sigh, "I know he is."

"It is not your fault, McGee." Gibbs said, "Calm down." He repeated.

On the other end of the row of agents, Villa shifted in his seat, then looked over at Ziva, "I'm glad we shot the guy." Ziva was staring at the wall with her elbows on her knees. When she didn't respond to him, he leaned forward, mocking her position, "We shot the guy." He said again, and this time he got a stare from her.

"We did not kill him."

Villa nodded, "But he's probably very injured. We almost killed him."

"He almost killed Tony." She snapped. Luke pressed his lips together and sat back in his seat.

"You okay?" He asked her softly as he stared at the side of her head.

"I am fine." She said quickly and stood from her seat, walking down the hallway. Luke looked over at Gibbs and McGee who were staring back at him and stood, walking down the hall after her. He rounded the corner and walked into the vending room where Ziva had walked into just seconds before him. She just pressed the button for a water to drop out of the machine when he cleared his throat to get her attention. She sent him a glance and sat down at one of the tables in the room. "What?"

He leaned on the frame of the door and crossed his arms and left leg over his right, "You say you're fine, but you're not acting like it."

She stared at him as he moved out of the way for another person to come into the room and joined her at the table. "I do not want to talk about it."

"Okay, let's talk about something else." The only response from Ziva was a stare, so he continued, "Where are you from?"

"Washington DC." She deadpanned.

He chuckled, "No, I mean originally."

She rolled her eyes at him, "Israel."

"Do you like it in the States?" She nodded and stood from the table, walking out of the room and started towards the waiting room again. He got up and followed her again, jogging a few steps to catch up with her.

"Are you married?" She closed her eyes and pressed her lips together, shaking her head firmly. "Boyfriend then?"

She stopped so abruptly that Luke had to walk several steps back to her. "I am not talking about this either."

Luke smiled at her again, "Sorry, I just…want to get to know you a little. Maybe take your mind off things."

"Thank you for your concern, Agent Villa…"

"Luke." He interrupted.

"…but I am fine."

He lifted his left hand and scratched the back of his head, "Well to be honest, it wasn't all concern. I know you're going to think that I'm a horrible person for asking you out now, but it's your fault for being so damn beautiful." She eyed him as she started to walk again, "I'd like to take you to dinner." Ziva walked past the waiting room and outside, wanting to get some fresh air. She sat down on one of the benches, closely followed by Luke. "Come on, it'll be good for you to get out of the hospital. I understand that you're worried about Tony, but there's nothing you can do right now. The doctors are taking care of him."

Ziva pinched the bridge of her nose, "No, thank you. I am here to work, and I do not think it would appropriate to go on a date."

Villa chuckled, "Oh come on, I'm sure Agent Gibbs wouldn't mind." The look he got from Ziva was 'yeah right', so he laughed, "I tell you what, if you agree to go with me, I'll ask him if it's cool with him. If it's not…" He chuckled, "Then we'll just have to sneak out. So what do you say?"

Ziva shook her head again, refusing to say what her mind was screaming at her. Despite all the bull shit she had gone through with Tony, she still had crazy, hormonal, wish-she-could-get-rid-of-them feelings and thoughts for one Anthony DiNozzo. Her feelings for Tony were out of control, again, just like they were before they started dating. She couldn't possibly go on a date with this guy. "No, I am sorry. It is not a good time," She sighed, "And there is someone else."

Villa smiled at her again, "Ah, a boyfriend."

She shook her head, "No, it is…complicated."

"What? You love him or something?" His smile was bigger now as she turned and looked at him, "Wow, you do love him. Is it somebody I know?"

Ziva turned back to the front and took a sip of her water, "I think it is best we end this conversation."

"It's Agent Gibbs, isn't it?"

She let out a sarcastic chuckle, "Gibbs is basically the only father I have. No."

"I can't see you with McGee at all, and Tony…"

"We are not playing this game, Agent Villa." She said and stood again, walking away from him.

"Call me Luke, please. I'm sorry, I just…wanted to take you out. I literally felt like a kid in high school again when I saw you in the airport. And that hasn't happened since I first saw my ex-wife, so I took it as a sign."

Ziva tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, "I am sorry, Luke, but I can't."

He over and gave her a kiss on the forehead, "There's no need to be sorry."

"Hey!" Gibbs shouted from the door, walking towards the two federal agents, "What are you doing?"

"We wanted some fresh air, Agent Gibbs."

He nodded towards the door, "Go back inside, Ziver. A nurse just told us a doctor will be out to tell us about Tony."

Ziva sent a glance to Luke before walking away from the two men and back into the waiting area.

Gibbs waited until she was out of ear shot, "You leave her alone."

"Now hold on a second, Gibbs, I wasn't doing anything wrong."

"I've seen the way you've been looking at her, Villa." He said. "Her partner is lying on a hospital bed, almost dead. Knock it off."

"Is it your job to tell her who she can and cannot date?"

"Leave her alone." Gibbs said again, walking away from him and into the hospital.

Villa chuckled in disbelief and followed Gibbs.

It didn't take Luke long to figure out who Ziva was in love with.

He only hoped Tony made it through.


	8. Monitors

"Hello, I'm Miranda Bailey, this is Doctor Meredith Grey." The doctors shook everyone's hands before speaking again, "Are you all family?"

Gibbs shook his head, "No, but we're the closest he's got."

The doctor frowned, "We're sorry, but we can't share any information with anybody but a family member."

Gibbs narrowed his eyes at her, "Is he alive?"

Doctor Bailey nodded, "Yes, he's alive, but I can't discuss his condition with anyone but a family member." She studied the looks on their faces, "Is he married?"

Gibbs looked over at Ziva, who turned and looked back at him, and then he pointed at her, "She's his fiancée.

The woman then turned to her, "Oh, okay, then will you please follow me?" Ziva shot a glare at Gibbs, but her face softened when she started to follow the two doctors. She followed them until they stopped in front of her.

She could see Tony immediately because of the glass wall that was facing the front. She felt a pang inside of her when she saw him; tubes and machines were all around and inside his body. She swallowed the lump in her throat. "What's your name?"

Ziva tore her stare away from him and looked down at the doctor, "Ziva David."

"Ok, Ziva. Mr. DiNozzo is alive and is what we call a critical stable condition. He was shot three times, once in his belly, another time on his left shoulder, and the third was his left arm. The only one that made it all the through was the one to his arm, and a doctor was able to repair it." Ziva looked away from her again and back at Tony at the large bandage on his left arm. She felt a pang again, "We were able to get the other two bullets out of him, but, unfortunately, we had to take out a part of his liver. It will, however, regenerate with time. He had almost no blood pressure when he was brought in, and we're still having a hard time getting it back to where it needs to be. He was unconscious on arrival and we haven't seen him wake up since."

Ziva had to swallow, "When will he wake up?" She asked softly.

Dr. Bailey looked down at the ground, so Dr. Grey spoke instead, "Only time will tell. It could be tonight, it could be tomorrow, it could be a month."

"He is on a ventilator that is breathing for him, and we have to watch him very carefully to make sure he does not lose any more blood."

"Dr. Shepherd will be stopping by to check on his brain functions." Grey added.

Ziva had to look away from them for a second, "Is he in pain?"

Bailey shook her head, "Only he can tell us that, but I don't think so."

"How long does he have if he does not wake up?" Ziva asked. She was staring through the glass at him again, but turned to them slowly.

"We won't worry about that until we have to." Dr. Grey said. Ziva stared at her.

"How long?" She said again.

The two women looked at each other, "After two weeks, we'll need to look into organ donation. They won't be viable after that period of time."

Ziva swallowed the large lump that was in her throat. "You're welcome to go in and see him. We'll be back periodically to check on him." Dr. Grey finished, and Ziva turned to the two women and nodded, managing to form words.

"Thank you."

"Let us know if you have any questions." The two women walked away talking quietly to each other while Ziva stood in the hallway. Her arms were crossed, and she only moved again when the nurse yelled at her to move so that they could move a crashing patient to surgery.

She took a deep, shaky breath and moved to the doors that slid open when she got near them. Various machines were making noises: The heart monitor beeped slowly, and the breathing machine triggered every three seconds or so. She moved closer to his bed, slowly and silently, as if any noise she made would awake him. When she got close enough she unfolded her arms from her chest and reached for his hand, but the doors opening startled her and she moved away quickly.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." The nurse said, carrying a clip board and writing some things on it from the monitors. When he finished, he looked over at her again, "Would you like me to bring you a chair so you can sit with him?"

Ziva swallowed and shook her head, "No thank you."

The nurse nodded, "Well there's supposed to be one in here. I'll bring it anyway." He left and quickly returned with a chair, setting it down behind Ziva. He grabbed his clip board and left again.

She waited until she was sure he was out of eyesight before moving. Taking another cautious step, she reached down and slowly touched the top of his hand. She now was _really_ glad the nurse brought in the chair, for her legs wouldn't support her anymore and she fell down onto it.

Tears flooded her eyes as she reached for his hand again, this time grabbing and holding onto it with both hands. She had to swallow a couple of times so that she could speak. "Tony." She whispered, shaking his hand very gently. "We need you to be okay." No longer able to hold back tears, one ran down her face as she spoke again. "Gibbs needs you to be okay. Abby, McGee, Ducky and Palmer too."

She rubbed her thumb over his knuckles and stared at his hand for several more seconds, "I need you to be okay." Another tear fell down her face as she let go of his hand and stood to leave the room.

Why, even as he was unconscious, did he still have the power to bring emotions like that to her?

She didn't know.


	9. Need To Go Home

9 days later...

Gibbs stood at the door of Tony's room staring at his agent, tubes and machines all around him making various noises, noises he knew were keeping Tony alive.

He sipped on his coffee and let the warm liquid run down his throat. He let out a deep sigh and ran his free hand over his face. He was snapped out of his train of thought when one of Tony's doctors spoke to him, "Hi, Agent Gibbs. How are you this morning?"

He didn't look at her, he only nodded towards Tony's room instead, "How is he doing?"

The doctor looked through the glass just as Gibbs was at her patient, "His shoulder wound is showing a lot of progress and the rest of the outside of his body is healing. She then looked up at the tall man, her eyes serious, "but he needs to wake up. And soon."

Taking another sip of his coffee, he looked down at the doctor, "Okay. Who do I need to contact to get him back to DC?"

Dr. Bailey shook her head, a look of disbelief on her face, "He's not going home."

They both moved out of the way so that the group of doctors and nurses that were pushing a hospital bed could get through. She moved near him again and let out a deep breath, trying her best to explain, "Agent Gibbs, I understand you have work to do to and you need to get home, but Mr. DiNozzo isn't stable enough to move. I can't allow it."

He looked at her with the 'you've got to be kidding me' look that he used often on his three agents, but his face softened when he stared at his senior field agent through the glass again. "I can't leave him here either."

Bailey swallowed and looked through the glass just as he was, "You can if you need to. We have an excellent staff that will keep a close watch on him."

Gibbs shook his head firmly, "No. Never leave a man behind." Bailey pressed her lips together and looked down at the ground. Gibbs looked over at her again, "Say what you need to say, Dr. Bailey."

She let out another sigh and closed her eyes before looking into his ice blue ones, "I'm an optimist, Agent Gibbs. I believe in miracles, love in first sight, and the impossible. That is why I became a doctor, so I can save lives, and I try very hard to do that even after a patient is dead. I am telling you this so you know that it is very hard for me to say this." Gibbs narrowed his eyes at her as she took another breath and shifted on her feet, "It doesn't seem like your agent is going to wake up. He's healing on the outside but if he doesn't wake soon his organs will start to fail. And when his organs start to fail, he will be living on machines. Now may be the time to start finding his real family and letting them decide if that is something that he wants."

He only continued to stare at her as he took another long gulp of his coffee. When he finally swallowed, he looked away from her and at Tony again. "He will live or he will answer to me." He turned and walked away from her, "And we are his real family."

He walked down the hallway and to the waiting room where he and his team had made a home for themselves on the chairs. Ziva was gone again, but that wasn't news to Gibbs because she was gone a lot these days. He moved quietly in front of McGee, who was slouched down in one of the chairs, his head to his left, sound asleep.

He leaned down and shook the junior agent gently, "McGee."

The probie sat up quickly and wiped the side of his mouth, "Yeah? Morning, boss. What's wrong?"

Gibbs only shook his head, "Nothing has changed, McGee." McGee let out a deep breath and sat up straight, rubbing his face with both hands, "Get yourself a cup of coffee and come back here. I'm going to find David."

Gibbs walked down the opposite hall and towards the elevator. He hated that he knew this place so well; it meant that he had been here too long. The elevator finally reached the ground floor and headed out the doors and outside to the small courtyard.

Taking a left, he walked down the breezeway and to the window seal where Ziva had a new favorite spot. He sat down beside her, and before saying anything took another sip of his coffee, "Morning Ziver."

She ran a hand over her face, "Has anything changed?"

Gibbs shook his head, and then looked down at the ground, "Did you get any sleep?"

She shook her head and got down off of the window, "I am fine, Gibbs."

He got onto the ground and followed her back towards the building. "We've got to get back to DC, and the doc says Tony can't be moved." Ziva looked up at him as they stopped right outside the doors. "McGee will stay here with DiNozzo so that you and I can get back home." Ziva stopped and watched as he took several more steps and stopped when he realized Ziva wasn't following him anymore. He walked the eight steps back to her, "Ziva?"

"I will stay."

Gibbs narrowed his eyes and shook his head slowly, "You don't have to, Ziva." She looked down as he continued, "You told him you aren't his partner anymore."

She sighed deeply and had to look away from him again, "I will stay with him." Gibbs opened his mouth to speak, but her voice was heard instead, "I cannot leave him, Gibbs." She quickly wiped a tear away and took a deep breath, still avoiding his gaze, "I hate him, Gibbs. I hate what he did and I hate how he has made me feel lately." She took a deep breath and now couldn't wipe all the tears that were streaming down her face, "But he is the one I love, he is the one I need and he is the only one in my heart."

Gibbs walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her, "Okay. You can stay."


	10. Need People

McGee walked into Tony's room, waking Ziva from her bat nap. He looked over at her and tried to hide the worried and tired look on his face. "Oh, I'm sorry, Ziva. I didn't mean to wake you."

Ziva shoook her head and waved her hand at him, "It is fine, Tim. I am fine."

McGee only nodded and looked down at him, "Has the uh...doctor been in today?"

Ziva swallowed and nodded, "Yes." McGee tore his stare off of Tony and looked up at Ziva again, "Nothing has changed." She managed to say, "He has to wake up."

McGee let out a sigh, walked over to Ziva's chair and sat down on the edge of Tony's bed in front of her. He chuckled and it earned him a funny look from Ziva. "He would yell at me to get off of his bed." Ziva smiled and looked doown at the floor. McGee lost his smile and cleared his throat. "Gibbs and I have a plane at noon." Ziva nodded and started to say something again, but stopped when she noticed McGee trying to say something.

Ziva scrunched her eyebrows together, "What is it, Tim?"

He cleared his throat and spoke softly, "Tony wanted me to uh..." He stopped again and Ziva turned her head in confusion. "...say something to you in case he...doesn't wake up."

Ziva's eyes instantly turned cold and she looked directly in his eyes, "He will wake up, McGee." She said sternly, and McGee nodded quickly.

"I know, I know he will. But if I don't tell you this he'll kill me when he does wake up and I want to live so...I'm gonna tell you." Ziva only nodded and waited for him to continue. "He's sorry, Ziva." She felt her mouth fall open slightly while he adjusted on the bed and looked into her brown eyes again, "Tony thought he was dead and his very last words were to take care of Abby, Ducky, Palmer and Gibbs. And to make sure that if you get married, you marry a good man, somebody that will take care of you." McGee let out another sigh, "His dying words were to make sure you are taken care of and to let you know that he's sorry."

Ziva wiped the tears off of her face, damn, she was doing that a lot these days. "Thank you."

McGee nodded, "You're welcome." He stood from the bed and grabbed her left hand, giving it a squeeze, "I'll see you and Tony back home?"

Ziva looked up at him and let a small smile show on her lips as she stood and hugged him, "See you then, McGee."

* * *

><p>4 days later...<p>

"How are you this morning?"

Ziva gave a faint fake smile to the doctor, "I am fine."

She opened Tony's eyelids and shined her small light into both of his eyes and then clicked her pen open, "Are you getting homesick?"

Ziva rubbed her temples, "No, but I am tired of this hospital."

Dr. Grey chuckled and nodded at her, "Me too." She finished writing something on Tony's chart and then closed it, looking down at Ziva again, "You know, today is my day off so I don't really have anything else to do, so I will sit with him if you want to go and get some rest."

Ziva swallowed the lump that was in her throat and shook her head, "No, thank you. I am fine."

She nodded, "Okay. Let me know if you need anything."

"Thank you. Has anything changed?" She asked slowly, her eyes full of worry.

"It's very good that he was able to come off of the ventilator yesterday. He is breathing on his own and his lungs sound great. His pupils are still equal and reactive, but we won't know what else is wrong with him until he can wake up and tell us." Ziva nodded slowly and let out a long sigh. Every time she asked about him, she heard the same words; he needed to wake up.

The doctor pressed her lips together and walked around Tony's bed and sat down the same place McGee did a few days earlier. "I know why your scared, I've been in your place before. And I know a person needs people around them at times like this, so if you need somebody to talk to, I'm here."

"My place?" Ziva was confused.

Meredith nodded, "Yes, when your husband is here, but he's not with you."

Ziva shook her head, "Tony is...not my husband."

She nodded, "I know, but he's somebody you love. Anybody who's been in this room knows that. Husband or not." She smiled at Ziva again, "Just hang in there."

Ziva watched as she left Tony's room, the doctors words echoing in her head. She leaned back in the chair she came to know very well and closed her eyes. The sleep she'd forgotten in the last several hours crashed down onto her body.

* * *

><p>4 hours later...<p>

He slowly opened his eyes and looked around the room. He heart his heart monitor to his left and watched as a few people rolled another hospital bed by his room. He opened his mouth to try and speak, but his throat was sore and dry, and he desperately needed some water. His whole body ached and his neck hurt when he turned his head.

He watched her for several minutes when she stirred and slowly opened her eyes and finally, finally looked into his.

"Tony." She said quietly, standing and taking the three steps to his pillow. She put her hand on his chest, "You're okay." Tony smiled weakly at her.

"Hey beautiful." He said barely above a whisper. A tear fell from her left eye and landed on his hospital gown.

"I should tell one of the doctors that you are awake." She replied quietly.

Tony shook his head and lifted his right hand to her face, rubbing her cheek softly with his thumb, "Are you okay?"

Ziva nodded and let a few more tears fall from her eyes, "Yes, I am fine. We are all fine." She put her hand on his face as well, "Everything is okay now."

He smiled weakly at her, "Good."

Ziva grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight.

He was alive.


	11. Chance

**Thanks everyone for all the great reviews and favorites and follows I'm getting! It really means a lot to me, so keep it up! :)**

Tony held Ziva's face as long as she let him before she took a step back and wiped her face. Tony gathered some saliva in his mouth and swallowed it, trying to cure his overwhelming need for some liquid. She broke the silence, giving his large hand a squeeze, "I am going to find a doctor, I will be right back."

She returned shortly, two doctors right behind her, "Hey, welcome back, Agent DiNozzo!"

Tony smiled up at the doctor, "Thanks."

"How are you feeling?"

Tony swallowed again, "My throat hurts and I want to get out of this bed." Ziva walked around to her chair and picked up her bottled water, taking his plastic yellow cup before handing it back to him. He smiled at her and welcomed the liquid to his dry throat.

Dr. Bailey watched Ziva and then patted him on the top of his shoulder,"I see you picked the right woman to marry, Agent DiNozzo." Tony and Ziva shared a look and then turned back to the doctor as she spoke, "It's sore because of the ventilator that was helping you breathe for so long. We were beggining to think you weren't coming back to us." She smiled down at him and then started to discuss something about Tony's information on the monitor to the other doctor. He listened, but didn't understand a word of the gibberish doctor language, but then she used english again with him, "Well from what I can see you seem fine, but we've got to get a few more departments in here to check on you."

"Can I get out of bed?"

The doctor shook her head, "Not quite yet, I'm sorry." Tony let his head fall back on the pillow with a sigh. Everyone in the room looked up when the sliding doors opened and closed again. "Agent DiNozzo this is our head of neuro, Dr. Shepherd."

"Nice of you to join us." The doctor said and then shined his flashlight in both of Tony's eyes. "Alright follow my finger please?" Tony moved his eyes back and forth and up and down. The docotor moved to the end of the bed, "Wiggle your toes?" Tony followed directions and then wiggled his fingers on his good arm. "What year is it?"

Tony swallowed again to try and help his sore throat, "2012."

Dr. Shepherd smiled, "What's your phone number?"

Tony closed his eyes for a second and then opened them again, "2025559837." Ziva looked up, a surprise look on her face, and a small smile hidden on her lips.

"Okay great. And who's she?" He motioned with his head towards Ziva.

Tony looked at the doctor and then over to Ziva, "That's the woman I love."

Dr. Shepherd chuckled and looked at the other doctor in the room, "I know that, but do you know her name?"

"Ziva Gavriela David."

Dr. Shepherd looked Dr. Grey and Dr. Bailey and nodded, "He seems great. I can clear him." He signed the paper and then reached down to shake Tony's hand, "Glad you're back with us."

He left the room, followed by the other two doctors who promised they'd be back later to see how he was doing. Ziva returned to her chair that she had gotten to know way to well, but it was pulled slightly closer to the bed. "Why did you tell the doctor my number instead of yours?"

He smiled, "I've never been able to remember my own number, but yours is permanently in my brain." She chukled slightly. Tony took a deep breath and turned his head towards Ziva, "Gibbs and McGee went home?" She nodded and he continued, "Good. And they caught the son of a bitch that shot me?"

Ziva nodded again and spoke softly, "Gibbs did not stop until he was dead."

Tony nodded and chuckled a little, but stopped quickly when he realized how much it hurt his sore body. Ziva saw his pain and walked over to the water pitcher, pouring him some more water into his cup. She leaned over and handed it to him, "Thanks." Taking a sip of his water, he shifted in his bed to try and get comfortable in it, "Hey, would you mind pulling this pillow up so that it's higher on my back?"

Walking back to his bed, he leaned up far enough so that she could pull the pillow up on his back. "Is that better?" She asked.

He nodded and looked into the eyes that were staring back at his, "Yeah, that's a lot better, thanks." Using his good arm, he put his hand on her face and rubbed her cheek with his thumb. He let his hand slip around to the back of her neck and pulled her down gently towards himself. He placed his lips on hers, and the kiss only lasted long enough to make both of them want more. Ziva sat down on the edge of the bed and put both of her hands on his face, holding it in place as she dove into another kiss.

It was one that made her toes curl, as of all of his kisses did. He was a professional, and Ziva wouldn't mind being kissed like this for the rest of her life-minus the hospital part.

After about thirty seconds she pulled back and stood up, both of them practically out of breath. "I cannot do this." She said softly.

Tony pressed his lips together and watched as she sat down. He sighed, "Ziva I...

"No," She held up her small hand and shook her head, "Do not apologize, Tony. I kissed you as well."

His head fell back onto the pillow again, "You didn't mess everything up and make you hate me, though."

Ziva shook her head, "I do not hate you." She looked down at the floor, "I cannot hate you. I have tried."

He pulled his head up and his body ached to get out of the bed and walk over to her, "All I need is another chance, Zi. I swear to you, I won't screw it up."

Ziva looked directly into his green eyes and stared into them for what felt like several minutes. She forced herself to look away from him and stood from the chair, "We will talk about this later. I should call Gibbs and give him an update."

"Ziva..."

"Later, Tony." He watched as she opened her cell phone, walking out of the room and taking a left down the hall.

Tony groaned and wished, just for a second, that he could go back to his dream.


	12. Time To Go

**I'm going to do better, I swear. One day, I will do better! :) This chapter is a little longer than what I usually post, so I hope you love it. Leave a review when you get to the end? **

4 days later...

"Good morning, Agent DiNozzo, what are you doing out of bed?"

"I hate that bed."

"I know you do, but can you please get back in it so I can check on you?"

Tony sighed deeply again and walked back to his bed, sitting down on the edge of it while she checked his breathing and heart. "Can I go home today?"

Dr. Bailey looked up at his monitors, "We'll see."

Tony groaned in response, "Come on doc, I'm fine. I can walk, I can talk, I can dance, I can move..."

"That's fine and dandy, Agent DiNozzo, but you almost died on my watch and I'm not in the habit of letting my patients go earlier than they should."

Tony groaned again, "Doctor, please. I really, really need to get out of here."

The docotor put her hand on his shoulder, patting it gently, "Got a lot of wedding planning to do?"

Tony let out a sarcastic chuckle, "I don't know."

The doctor gave Tony a puzzled look, "What do you mean?"

He tore his stare off the wall and looked up at her, "I just don't know what she has planned. Her and the wedding planner have just gone crazy." He put on a half, fake smile and she nodded, chuckling slightly.

"I know how that goes, Agent DiNozzo." She wrote some things down on her chart, "Where is Ziva this morning?"

Tony ran his right hand through his hair, "I made her go to a hotel and get some sleep. We both don't need to be tortured in this hospital."

She closed his chart and looked into his sad, pitiful green eyes, "Your temperature is high and I'm worried about an infection." Tony looked down at the floor and then back up at her, "But, since you have somebody with you, I'll see what I can do about getting you out of here."

Tony was so happy at that moment that he felt like he could literally jump for joy, but instead he stood and gave her a tight hug, "Finally. Thank you."

Dr. Bailey broke the hug and pushed lightly on his shoulders, "I'm not promising anything, and you need to rest and let the antibiotics kill the fever."

Tony sighed and lay down on the bed, "Whatever it takes to get out of here."

"Good. I'll be back later to check on you, stay in the bed."

"No Dr. Grey today?" The doctor shook her head, "Oh, okay. She must be off with her husband, McSteamy, right?"

Dr. Bailey chuckled, "Maybe you have been in here too long." Tony pressed his lips together and nodded, "You have gained a nickname yourself, do you know what it is Agent DiNozzo?" Tony scrunched his eyebrows together and shook his head in confusion, "Agent McSexy."

He laughed as she left the room and let his head fall back onto the pillow.

Several hours later...

Tony lifted his head again off of his pillow, hoping it was Ziva when he heard the doors open. He let out a sigh and ran a hand over his face. Turning to the nurse, he looked up at her as she replaced his IV bag. "Hey Sarah, have you seen Ziva today?"

She shook her head and smiled at him, "I haven't, Tony. Would you like me to call her for you?"

Tony shook his head, "No thanks. She's probably out seeing the sights. And she should be. She's been here too much already."

Sarah smiled and nodded, "Okay, just let me know if you need anything."

Tony waited until she left before reaching for the attached remote, flipping channels on the small television. He finally found a movie he hadn't seen in years and put down the remote.

The next thing that caught Tony's attention was the doors sliding open again, and a smile erupted across his face when the woman he loved walked through.

"Hey you." He said.

"Shalom." She put down her jacket and purse, standing next to his bed with her arms crossed. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I'm ready to get the hell out of here. Doc says I have a temperature, but maybe," he reached with his right hand grabbed her left elbow and then her hand, pulling her over to him, "if you would be willing to sign me out, I can get out of here today. And we can go home."

She put on a faint smile and squeezed his hand, "I will talk to the doctor."

He smiled back at her, "If you would let me, I'd kiss you right now." She looked down at him and intertwined her fingers with his, but her smile faded away as her hair fell into her face.

Tony furrowed his eyebrows together and reached up, tucking her hair behind her ear again, "What's wrong Zi?"

"We need to talk, Tony."

He couldn't read her expression, and wondered if he wanted to know what she was about to say. "Okay, about what?" She tried to pull her hand away, but Tony gripped it tighter.

She sighed, "That night, when I walked in and found you..." She shut her eyes and turned her head.

Tony instantly felt a pang in his heart and squeezed her hand tighter, "Ziva, I'm..."

She slowly raised her right hand and shook her head, "That is not my point. You have apologized." She sat down on the edge of the bed, not letting go of his hand. "I had something to tell you that night when I returned from Paris. And I think it has been the reason I have not been able to forgive you in all this time."

Tony was looking directly at her waiting on her to tell him what was on her mind when the doors slid open again, but it wasn't a nurse, doctor or really anybody Tony wanted see.

Ziva saw the look on his face and turned to see who had caused it. She stood from the bed and dropped Tony's hand. She walked over to the chair and collected her purse and jacket.

Tony quickly got out of his bed and stepped in front of Ziva, grabbing her hand again in the process. He then looked at the person standing in the door.

"What are you doing here?" He asked sternly.

"I heard you were hurt."

"I'm fine, now get the hell out."

"Tony...I."

"Get back on the plane you came on and leave here, Wendy. I don't want or need you in my life anymore. Go."

Ziva let go of Tony's hand and moved passed him, but was only blocked from leaving again by Wendy, "Ziva, right?" Ziva only glared at her in response, "You're more beautiful than your pictures." Still, Ziva said nothing and tried to move past her again, "No, please don't go. I didn't come here to mess things up. I came because I wanted to apologize. Will you please stay so we can talk like adults?"

Ziva's voice was quiet and deep, "I have nothing to say to you."

"I know, but I have a hell of a lot to say to you. Both of you." She put a hand on Ziva's arm and squeezed it gently, "Please, stay."

Ziva sighed softly and walked back to the bed, sitting down on the end of it and crossing her arms again.

Wendy sat down in the chair and crossed her legs, watching Tony as he sat down on the bed next to Ziva.

"The night before I called you, Tony, my boyfriend and I had a fight." She gulped and looked away from them for a second, "And I don't mean an argument, I mean he tried to hit me."

Tony's heart skipped a beat. Even though he didn't want anything to do with Wendy anymore, he instantly wanted to find this man and do some damage, or to any man that would hit a woman.

"Anyway, I left him and I got drunk and thought about you and how I know you would never hit a woman, no matter how mad you got. And it made me miss you."

Ziva was looking down at her hands in her own lap, and Tony seemed to be staring a hole through the wall. "I called you the next day. I knew you were probably with somebody and I didn't care. That night when I found you at the bar, I was going to get you back and I didn't care if you wanted me to or not."

She looked up at them again, "But when you walked in, Ziva, I instantly felt horrible." She sighed deeply and then looked right into Ziva's eyes, "I am the one that messed everything up between you and Tony. He told me to stop and I wouldn't. I came all this way to say that and that I'm sorry."

After she stared at them for a while, she stood with her purse and started to leave the room before turning back to them again, "I'm glad you're okay Tony. And again, I'm sorry."

The two of them sat in silence until Tony reached over and grabbed her hand, giving it a squeeze, "Ziva..."

She turned to him and leaned up, giving his forehead a kiss before trying to stand from the bed, "Hey, where are you going?"

"To sign you out, Tony."

He squeezed her hand again and kept her on the bed, "I really really want to get out of here, but you said you had something to tell me."

She put one hand on his face and rubbed her thumb on his cheek, "We will talk later."

He groaned, "I hate that word." He pulled her into a hug, "I'm sorry, Ziva."

She finally broke from him and stood from the bed, walking out of the door and to the nurses station.

"I would like to sign Anthony DiNozzo out, please." She nodded to the nurse who walked away from the desk to collect her papers.

A single tear ran down her cheek again and she wiped it way quickly.

She wasn't sure how she was going to tell Tony.

But she had to.


	13. Dunzo

**Hey guys! Thanks for all of the reviews I'm getting! Makes my day! **

**To some people Tony and Ziva are probably a little out of character in this story/chapter. But this is fiction and this is the way I kind of see them if they were going through something like this. **

**This chapter is much longer than my usual, I'll try to do a little better about posting longer ones. I think there might be maybe two? more chapters after this one, and then it's dunzo. I'm thinking up a sequel though, so we'll see. Tell me your thoughts! **

**Review you awesome, awesome people! **

* * *

><p>The quiet hum of the plane and the chatter of the other passengers around them was all that was heard between the duo of special agents. Tony looked over at Ziva again, just to see if she had ripped her eyes out of the book she was reading, but she hadn't, and he sighed loudly in frustration.<p>

His left arm was in a sling and he had strict orders from the doctors to take it easy, but Ziva was certainly making that task hard by not telling him what she had to tell him.

The Wendy visit made things a little weird between them, but they were still talking more than they were before, and it was killing Tony to sit there in silence. He rolled his head to look at Ziva and cleared his throat to get her attention, "What are you reading?"

She didn't look up at him until she finished the sentence she was reading, "It is called The Absent One."

She went back to reading, and Tony tried looking out the small window for a while. When that got boring, he let out another sigh, "Don't you want to talk?"

She finished the sentence she was on again and looked up at him, "You should rest, Tony. You have to take it easy."

"I have been on bed rest for a month and now you want me to rest some more?"

Ziva raised and dropped a shoulder, "It has not been a month and I am just suggesting for you to do what the doctor said."

"Well, I'm fine, and I don't want to rest." Ziva read another sentence before looking back at him, his eyes still on her.

She sighed and closed the book, turning in the small seat towards him. "What would you like to talk about?"

Tony looked up at the cargo above him, "Oh, I don't know. The weather, how the Nat's are doing, who's dating who..." He then looked down at her and directly in her eyes, "Or how about you tell me what is on your mind."

Ziva broke the stare between the two of them and then looked back into his green eyes. "It is not that simple, Tony. I do not want to discuss it here."

Tony let out a small sigh, "Okay. But I have to know, are you okay?"

She nodded slightly, "I am fine."

"Good." He replied. He looked down at her hands clutching her book and reached for one, but she moved it before he did. He looked out the window again; trying to keep his mind off of what she could possibly tell him when he heard her spoke again.

"Do you believe that Wendy does not have feelings for you?"

Tony nodded immediately, "Yes, I do."

The stare match continued for a few seconds until Ziva shook her head, "I am not convinced."

Tony sighed deeply, "What we had was a long time ago, Zi."

"And it was also very recent." She replied quickly.

He closed his eyes and shook his head slowly. He deserved that, but her words hit him hard in his heart. They sat in silence for a while, and Ziva had already gone back to her book when he spoke again. "Why don't you come over to my apartment when we land? I'll order a pizza, we'll talk a little? Maybe pop in a movie?"

She looked up at him and shook her head gently, "I have to go to the office and get some work done. I have been away from my desk for a long time."

Tony nodded, "Well I'll go to the office with you. I've got a ton of work to do anyway, and then we can go back to my place."

Ziva chuckled slightly, "You want to go to the office?" Following his nod, Ziva chuckled even more, "Gibbs certainly will not like that."

Tony smiled, "You'd think the old man would like that I actually want to get some work done. So will you come?"

She sighed, "I do not know how long I will be, but we will see."

He smiled slightly and nodded, "Okay."

Another four hours passed and the plane finally landed in Washington, DC. Tony and Ziva walked silently through the airport until they reached the entrance, where Tim and Abby stood waiting on them.

Abby ran up to Tony as soon as they were in eyesight and hurled herself on him. Tony grunted in pain, but used his good arm to hug her tightly, "I'm okay, Abs."

Ziva and Tim stood there watching as the hug lasted for what felt like hours, until she finally let go and then whacked him in his good arm. "What have I told you about scaring me like that? You almost died! I can't lose anymore of you, I can't take this!"

Tony squeezed her shoulder in effort to calm her down, "Our work is dangerous, Abby. We're federal agents, not postal workers."

"It shouldn't be like this." She said softly.

Tony squeezed her shoulder again, "I'm okay."

She sighed, "Okay." She then moved over to Ziva and gave her a quick hug.

Tim got in Abby's spot and gave Tony a bro hug,"I'm glad you're back, Tony."

Tony grinned like he just won the lottery as Tim took Tony's bag from Ziva and they started to move out the door. "I know you missed me, Timmy."

Another hour passed and Tony was now at his apartment, forced to go there by the el jefe with strict orders not to come back until he was fully capable to work for eight hours without a single grunt, groan, or painful looking face. After visiting with Ducky, who, reluctantly agreed with Gibbs that he shouldn't be working, Tony gathered his things again, and he and McGee headed towards the parking lot full of sedans.

McGee grabbed Tony's bags for him and followed the federal agent to his doorway, stopping like Tony did in the doorway, staring inside of his apartment. He tried to read Tony's facial expression, but couldn't, so he said the first word since they left the Navy yard. "Did something change while you were gone?"

Tony didn't take his eyes off of the room, "No, nothing changed. That's the problem."

Now McGee was even more confused than before, "I don't understand."

He shut his eyes and took a deep breath, "There's nothing to understand, probie. I don't get it either." Tony finally took a few steps inside and McGee followed, walking directly to Tony's bedroom and placing his bags on his bed for him.

He walked back into the living room and stuck his hands in his pockets, "Do you need me to do anything else?"

Tony slowly shook his head and sat down on his couch, "No. Thanks, Tim."

McGee pressed his lips together and nodded once. Walking around the couch, he grabbed Tony's good shoulder, "We're all glad you're alive."

Tony waited until he heard the door shut before turning on his TV.

Three episodes of Magnum later, he flipped open his cell phone and created a message for Ziva.

'_Almost done? Pizza is on its wa….' _

He stopped when he heard the pizza man knock on his door. He shut his phone and pulled his wallet out of his back pocket before walking to the door. A smile erupted on his face when he realized who was standing on the other side. "Wow, you're the best looking pizza guy I've ever seen. You're a part time pizza delivery girl now?" He opened the door wider and let Ziva in.

"No, but I am pretty good at it, right?" He chuckled and walked to the refrigerator, pulling two beers out of the six-pack and headed back to the couch where Ziva had already made place on the couch. "Thanks."

"So did you get caught up with your work?"

Ziva swallowed her bite of pizza and shook her head, "No, I still have a lot to do." She reached over him and grabbed his beer bottle, opening for him.

He grumbled a thanks for the beer in response, "Yeah. I'll have dust on the pile at my desk because Jethro won't let me work."

She gave him one of those looks, "It is understandable, yes? You did almost die."

"No, it is not understandable. I can't run a marathon, but I can do some paperwork. My right hand is fine."

She wiggled her index finger at him, "But your body is not."

Tony rolled his eyes, "Are you playing LJG in the next NCIS play at the high school?"

She sighed, "No, Tony, but we are all worried about you."

He shook his head and took a sip of his beer, "There is no reason to worry about me now."

Ziva rolled her eyes back at him and sat back, crossing her arms over her chest, "I will not argue with you anymore about this."

Tony finished his piece and sat back like she did, his left leg on the couch, facing her. He felt like he couldn't wait another second to find out what Ziva wanted to tell him. He watched her as she took another bite of her pizza, and waited until she was finished chewing so that she had no excuses not to answer him, "So are you ready to tell me what you were going to say before Wendy walked in?"

She still faced his TV and took a sip of beer before turning to face him. She closed her eyes and let out a sigh, rubbing her tired face. "What I have to tell you is not easy for me to say and it will not be easy for you to hear." Keeping his eyes on hers, he reached for his remote and pressed the power button, so now all that was heard was the air moving from the ceiling fan and the ice dropping from the freezer.

Tony swallowed in nervousness, breaking the awkward silence and speaking slowly, "Okay?" She reached down and pulled a box out of her purse. Opening it up, she pulled out the long white stick and handed it to him. "You're pregnant?"

Ziva pressed her lips together and shook her head slowly. "No, I'm not, Tony."

He held the test towards her, "I don't understand. This says you're pregnant."

She sighed, "The week before Tim and I went to Paris, I bought that test. I was going to surprise you when we got back."

His heart broke into pieces and he sighed, "Ziva…I…"

She held up a finger and shook her head again, "But when I got home, and…" Tony nodded so she wouldn't have to say it, "I did not tell you." Tony let go of her hand and sat down on the couch, taking a deep breath. She swallowed the lump in her throat and spoke softly, "I was in lot of pain Monday, so I went to the doctor and she told me that I had a miscarriage."

Tony swallowed the lump in his throat and spoke with a broken voice, "What caused it?"

Ziva sighed and closed her eyes, "That is not important, Tony."

"Yes it is, Ziva. Did she tell you what caused it?"

She pressed her lips together instead of answering his question for a long time until she felt his hand on hers again. "The doctor told me there are several reasons." She was staring a hole through the coffee table, but she felt his eyes on her, so she continued without looking at him. "Dr. Scott told me that all of the stress and worrying I did after I found out I was pregnant could have been a big factor in the miscarriage."

Tony stared into her brown eyes for several seconds before pulling on her hands so that he could reach her body. He dropped her hands and wrapped his right arm around her. He laid his head on her shoulder and whispered into her ear, "I am so sorry for putting you through all of this Ziva."

She felt a tear roll down her cheek and she whispered back to him, "It is in the past."

They held each other for a while and then he finally let go, but grabbed her left hand. After several minutes of silence, he cupped her face and rubbed his thumb gently on her cheek bone. "Can we just forget about everything and go back to the way things were, Zi?"

After a few seconds of staring into those damn beautiful eyes of his, she leaned up to him and placed her lips on his, kissing him like he did her in the hospital. She pulled away just when they both wanted more and slid backwards on the couch. "I cannot forget what happened, Tony." She managed to look at him and felt her heart rate speed up when his eyes were still on her. She took a deep breath and shook her head slowly, "I think there has been too much that has happened to repair. I cannot do this again. I still am not sure that you do not have feelings for Wendy. She was not only somebody that you went on a couple of dates with or had a fling, you were engaged to her. You wanted to spend the rest of your life with that woman."

Tony quickly shook his head, "That was a long time ago Ziva. Ten years ago. It's over between me and Wendy. I made a mistake and I regret every second of it."

She closed her eyes and nodded, "I understand. But it still does not clear things up for me. I can't look at you anymore without wondering if you're thinking about her."

He slowly shook his head, "I'm not."

Ziva grabbed his hand again and gave it a squeeze, "I think that it will be better that if we return to the way things were before. We should be friends and partners. I want that again."

Tony shook his head, "I want _us_ again, Ziva."

She pressed her lips together, "I can't."

He sighed and dropped her hands, chuckling a little. "Abby and I have this theory that I have nine lives." He shook his head and stood from the couch, walking around it to his dining room where he sat down again at the table. He ran his good hand over his face. He counted on his fingers as he spoke, "I had the plague and survived, almost got blown up at a crime scene probably about three times…" He stopped and thought some more, "…maybe four. Somebody rigged my car to blow up and expected me to be in it, and I've been shot and almost killed." He sighed and ran his hand through his hair, "If our theory is correct, then I only have three lives left." She kept her eyes on him as she too stood up and walked over to the table, standing in front of him with her arms crossed. He finally looked up at her and shook his head, "I can't go backwards."

She looked away from him and to the wall on her right. When she finally looked back, she shook her head again, "Too much has happened."

"I can't go backwards." He repeated, but said it more slowly.

"What does that mean, DiNozzo?" She said through her teeth.

He stood up and walked a couple of steps towards her so that they were inches from each other. "It means that if you can't be with me, I can't be here. I can't look at you and pretend that I'm not in love with you every day. It's too hard and I can't do it, Zi. I did it for 8 years and hated every second of it."

"I do not think it is that hard to return to the way things were." She said softly. "I know where this is coming from. I told you that I could not work with you anymore, but I was angry. I still cannot forgive you, but you do not have to leave."

He shook his head, "I hate what I did. It was my fault, I know that. I lost you and for that I will never forgive myself. But I just…can't." She pressed her lips together, unsure of what to say. He swallowed and brought his hand up to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear, "I'm gonna take that job in Georgia."

She looked into his eyes again and her voice broke as she spoke, "Why?"

"My lease runs out on my apartment in two weeks. We're not solving an active case right now, and I don't have you. There's no point to stay."

Not able to look into his eyes anymore, she turned her head from his gaze. Slowly, she looked at him again, "You have Gibbs, Abby, Ducky, Jimmy, and McGee…You love NCIS, Tony."

He shook his head, "It's time. Gibbs isn't going anywhere anytime soon and I need to move on. McGee will become the senior field agent and your partner. He's ready." Ziva shook her head in disbelief as he continued, "But he better not try and lay a hand on you or I will come back and kill him." He chuckled at his own joke, but Ziva didn't. She just looked up at him again, "You'll get a new probie, but don't worry. The good ones turn out like McGee."

She shook her head and took a step backwards, "You are talking like you are dying."

"Kind of feels like I am, Zi." He said softly. "I'll tell Gibbs tomorrow." He leaned down and pressed a kiss against her cheek, "Lets watch a movie."

She shook her head and walked away from him, "No. I am going home."

"What? Why? We haven't finished our pizza." He stood with his right arm open, staring at her with a WTF expression.

"What is the point?" And with that, she closed the door behind her. Tony sighed deeply and flopped down on the couch. His whole world just walked out that door.

Literally.


	14. Things To Do

**Hey everyone! Read on, but please don't freak out on me when you get to the end. I promise everything will be okay. Keep it up with the awesome reviews I'm getting, they seriously make my day! **

Tony stuck his hands in his pocket and awkwardly stood in front of his boss's desk. Gibbs had his head down, writing on a paper and pretending not to notice the agent in front of him. Minuets passed by and without looking up, Gibbs finally spoke, "You gonna speak?"

"I was hoping we could talk."

"Are you going to explain to me why you're here instead of at home recovering like you should be?"

The senior field agent had to resist rolling his eyes at Gibbs. The man himself _never_ took more than a day off when he was injured. Tony takes a little lead and suddenly it's all rest and relaxation? Hypocrite.

But instead Tony only shook his head, "No, I was hoping I could talk to you about something."

"Okay? So talk."

Tony looked around the bullpen just in time to see Ziva round the corner, her backpack and purse thrown over her shoulder. She glanced up at him and then turned her head, sitting quickly at her desk. He shook his head and turned his attention back to his boss, "Alone? Please?"

Gibbs looked up at him with those icy blue eyes and sighed, standing from his desk and walking around it, motioning for Tony to follow him.

Once the two men were in the elevator stopped between the second and third floor, Tony stuck his hands in his pocket and watched as Gibbs took a sip of his coffee. After sighing he took a deep breath and prepared for these awful tasting words to fly through his mouth. "Even before I got hurt, I have had several offers from different agencies, and even within NCIS to have my own team."

Gibbs face didn't change, "I know that."

Tony nervously ran a hand through his hair, "I think it's time, boss." Tony had to force himself to talk through Gibbs stare. He pressed his lips together and shut his eyes for a second, "There's nothing for me here anymore. And while I love this team, I love my job, I feel like it's time for me to change."

An eternity of silence went by before Gibbs spoke again, "Are you doing this because you got hurt?"

Tony shook his head, "No boss."

"The team needs you here." He said simply.

He chuckled sarcastically, "You know, I used to think your rules were the best way to get through life. Granted, some of them don't apply to me and a few are a little over the top." At the look he was getting, he decided to keep talking to avoid a whack on the back on the head. "But I never really understood rule twelve." Gibbs made himself comfortable on the side of the elevator, crossing his arms and legs. Tony took in an unsteady breath and continued, "Why should you care whether Kate and I dated or Ziva and I dated or Abby and McLove dated?" He swallowed and shook his head in disbelief, "I get it now, boss. You were trying to avoid something like this." He stopped and leaned against the opposite side of the elevator, copying Gibbs' position. "I fuck up and can't make it right, and she doesn't want to be with me anymore. It's not her fault, and I don't blame her for not being able to forgive me. But I can't sit there and look at her face everyday. I lost her in more ways than one, and I have to leave."

Gibbs stared at hole through him with those blue eyes, "She sat at your bedside for over two weeks." Tony stared at him right back, "Even if she denies it, DiNozzo, that woman out there loves you. And you don't need to run away at the first sign of problems."

Tony shook his head, "I wanted to marry her, Gibbs. I wanted that more than anything. But she doesn't, and it's time. I'm not running away. I'm moving on." Unable to take the stare, he looked down at the floor, "I have no doubt that she still cares for me. I have never loved anyone as much as I love Ziva David, and I will always love her."

"Then you stay and fight, DiNozzo."

He was surprised with the boss's suddenly louder voice, "There's no point." Gibbs stared at him for several seconds and then stood up to his full form. He flicked the switch to put the elevator in motion again so hard that Tony was sure he had broken it.

Instead of going to the squad room floor, Gibbs had gone down to the lobby and walked quickly out of the elevator, Tony assumed to get coffee. Or gin. He wasn't sure.

He took a deep breath and pressed the button for the top floor, and when the elevator stopped at the squad room, he got off there instead. The run up the stairs would be good for him anyway, and probably needed to let out a little energy before giving the same 'I'm leaving' speech to the director.

Ziva kept her head down when he walked by, and the junior agent watched him carefully. Tony gave him a small wave and continued pass the squad room and headed up the stairs.

McGee turned to look at Ziva, "Is that why I had to take the stairs this morning?"

Ziva looked up at him, "What?"

Tim towards the catwalk with his pen, "Was Tony in the elevator with Gibbs when I got here?"

She shrugged her shoulder, "I suppose so."

He pressed his lips together and walked over to her desk, squatting down so that he felt more concealed while he was talking about Tony. "What's going on?"

Ziva looked up from her paper and looked down at him, shaking her head a little, "Tony and I..." she stopped and looked up at the door that Tony disappeared behind. "He has accepted another job." She decided on the simple explanation, but her face fell when she saw his mouth hang open.

"What, where?" McGee asked her.

Ziva looked down at her desk, "In Georgia. I believe it is still with NCIS." McGee put his butt on the floor and leaned against the desk, staring at the cubical wall in front of him. Ziva got out of her chair and squat down so that she was at his level, "Why are you upset about this, McGee? It means you will be promoted to senior. You should be excited, yes?"

Tim shook his head firmly, "No. I like things the way they are. You, me, Tony and Gibbs? We're a team." Ziva sighed and looked over her desk at the one across from hers.

He was right, and they both knew it. Ziva's chest tightened as she thought about him not sitting in that desk anymore, and the other side of her wanted to shoot him. How can he just leave not only her, but the whole team now? They went for years pretending not to love each other, and she could not understand why Tony claims he couldn't do it now. It didn't add up in her mind and she sighed again. Tim grabbed her hand and made her turn her attention back to him, "And I wanted you two to work it out."

Ziva gave him a small, tight smile, "I know McGee." He gave her hand a squeeze and then let go, standing up to his full form and looking over at Tony's desk.

"I'm sorry, Ziva."

Ziva looked over at him, "It is not your fault, Tim."

Gibbs walked out of the elevator with a coffee cup in his hand. When he rounded the corner, he stopped when he saw Ziva and McGee standing and looking up at the catwalk, where the director had just walked out of his office. Tony followed, and walked over to the rail, leaning on it with his good arm and looking down at his now former teammates.

He was sure his heart was going to beat out of his chest. He couldn't tear his eyes off of the three of them, and it only made it worse that Ziva was determined she wasn't going to look away first.

He rubbed his hand over his face and turned away, looking at the wall behind him. He had things to do: clean out his desk, call Kings Bay and accept the job, talk to McGee about it, tell the boss he's sorry again, tell the doc and the gremlin.

And as bad as it was telling Ziva, Gibbs and Vance that he was leaving, the worst of it had yet to come. He added her to his mental list: tell Abby.

He now had a headache and lifted his right arm to rub his temple.

God, it hurt.


	15. Shalom

**6 Months Later…**

Tony walked into his new apartment and immediately loosened his tie. Exhaustion hit him like a train because he and his new crack-team _finally_ solved a case that team Gibbs probably would've solved 3 days ago. He took his large hand and rubbed his face, heading towards his refrigerator for a beer. Grabbing his remote, he flopped down on his couch and turned on the TV. He finally settled on an old movie he hadn't seen in years. As his eyes were on the TV, his mind was in Washington.

"_What are you doing here?" _

_Ziva looked up at him with those brown eyes that made him fall in love with her in the first place. She looked down at the ground and shrugged a shoulder. "I thought we could talk." _

_He opened his door wider for her again, waiting until she got inside to shut it behind her. "I just got home from work." He said, breaking the silence, "Abby wasn't very happy with me. We talked for over an hour." _

_Ziva was looking around his living room, boxes that had yet to be put together lying on the floor along with tape and a marker. "None of us are very happy with you, Tony." _

_Tony pressed his lips together, "I had to do what I had to do Ziva." _

"_You do not have to leave." She said softly. _

_Tony half smiled and stuck his hands in his pockets, "Yeah, I do." _

_She shook her head and started to pace back and fourth behind his couch. "I do not understand. You and I…" She put her hands on her temples. "Our relationship outside of the office should not matter. It did not before that baseball game and it should not now. Why are you doing this?"_

_Tony shook his head, "We've already had this conversation, Ziva."_

"_We need you on the team, Tony." _

"_I need you in my life." He said sharply. _

_She furrowed her brows in confusion, "I am in your life! We work together every day!"_

_He chuckled in disbelief, "I want you in my life the way you used to be. The one where I woke up next to you every morning, and I saw you before I went to sleep every night. And you don't want that anymore, I get it. But I can't be here and pretend that everything is okay between us, because it's not."_

"_We were partners before."_

_He returned to his full form from leaning on the wall and walked over to her, grabbing her hand to stop her ridiculous pacing. She looked up at him, "What are you doing?" _

"_Stand still." He said softly, and then leaned down to kiss her. It was a slow, gentle kiss and then Tony pulled back, holding her face as he spoke to her, "Do you feel anything anymore when I kiss you?" Ziva had to look away from him, so she looked down at the ground and slowly shook her head. He let go of her and returned to the wall, leaning back on it. "That is why I can't stay."_

_Ziva shut her eyes and pressed her lips together, turning her head. When she finally looked back at him, he was staring directly at her. She slowly shook her head and spoke slowly, taking a few steps towards him, "I still do not understand." _

_He shook his head again, "I'm going, Zi. I know Gibbs is mad at me, and probably Abby, Ducky, Palmer and McGee too, but it's time. I lost you and it's time for me to go." _

_She finally made it to him and looked into his green eyes. She stood on her toes and wrapped her arms around him. He responded slowly, taking his left arm out of its sling and slowly wrapped his arms around her small frame. "I am sorry, Tony." _

_He shook his head, "No, don't. There's no need for you to be sorry." _

_They held each other like that for a while, right up until Tony's left arm started to shake from pain. He pulled back from her and winced as Ziva helped him put it back in. _

"_Thanks." He said softly._

"_You are welcome." Ziva replied. She looked up at him one more time and walked to his door. Opening it, she stood in the doorway and looked back at him again. "Shalom."  
><em>

_Tony swallowed and sighed, "Shalom, Ziva."_

He sat up quickly and leaned over, rubbing his forehead. He was just about to call and order himself a pizza when his phone rang. He spent about three seconds debating whether or not to answer it, because if it were a member of his crack team asking him a stupid question again, he'd probably quit. Leaning over the arm of the couch, he grabbed it and flipped it open.

"DiNozzo."

"_Tony, hey." _

He was surprised by the voice on the other end. The only person he heard from back home was Abby, and while he loved talking to her, he knew she was still upset with him for leaving. Their conversations were generally short, with Abby only catching him up on what was going with his former teammates, but Tony enjoyed them more than anything else.

"McGee. How are you, man?" He had a smile on his face. It was good to hear from the Probie. He would never, ever, ever, ever admit it, but he missed him.

"_I'm okay. How are you doing?" _

Tony's smile faded as he realized there was worry in his voice. "I'm making it. Is everything okay?"

McGee gave him a fake, shaky laugh, _"Yeah, yeah, everything is fine. Why would something be wrong?" _

"Because your voice shakes when you lie. What's wrong?"

Tony could _hear _him swallow on the other end, _"I don't want you to panic and fly up here in a mad rage, okay? I'm only telling you because I was sure you'd want to know. I mean if it was me…"_

Tony yelled into the phone. "McGee! What in the hell is wrong?"

There were several seconds of silence as McGee got the courage to actually say the words.

"_Ziva is missing."_

**Do not hit the panic button, I promise I can't leave it there. But I am kind of stuck and do need some ideas, so throw them at me! Inbox me or leave it in a review. :)  
>This is all for this one. Thanks to everyone that reviewed, favorited, and followed; you guys are so awesome. Look out for a sequel! And don't forget to brainstorm and throw me some ideas!<strong>


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